I absolutely played my socks off at football tonight. One of the best games I have ever played if i do say so myself. I scored the first goal of the match, then went on to score three more including one that left Kev and Les looking like a right pair of lemons.
I have not been up to much since my last blog post; been settling into my new job and stuff. I get paid tomorrow so i plan a big weekend of drinking, shopping in camden and more drinking.
I have started to eat a lot healthier lately. I now eat an apple a day (keeps the medical practitioner out of close proximity, or so i've heard - but then again, is it not good to have a doctor nearby at all times, just in case you suddenly get a hernea when lifting some lever arch files or something?) I have also started to eat sunflower seeds, melons, bananas, and grapes, and drink clementine juice for breakfast and usually have a houmous and falafel wrap for lunch. (Incidentally, the girl who comes around our workplace every lunchtime and sells sandwiches is a bit of alright; she's Slovakian, so I have been on the internet and learned a few phrases ("Kolko to Stoji, nerozumiem po Slovensky"!) in an attempt to try and impress her. She seems the shy type, but i reckon with a bit of work she could maybe start to open up a bit. (As it were.).
Anyway, enough about my lovelife and eating habits - i watched the first show of Big Brother yesterday and was delighted to say I was one step ahead of my mum (who is a big fan of the show) - as I had heard a rumor that it would be an all-female household with just one male housemate. Not that it bothers me particularly - i only ever watch the first show just to see what a cross-section of our society they have decided to put in this year, this bunch of Ancient Greeks who supposedly accurately represent the rest of us. You might think...11 women and one guy - heaven on earth!! But you should see some of them. A couple look like they have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. I will be perfectly honest. I HATE THE FUCKING SHOW. I have never voted and probably never will; and like I said, i only ever watch the first episode just to see who goes in in the hope that they might actually put someone interesting in there as opposed to the never-ending line of posh-spice wannabees and transsexual posers they usually put in. I think they should put a few goths in, personally; it would keep the other housemates in check.
OK i shouldnt do this but i'm gonna quickly give you my opinions on the housemates. This is the order i put them in in order of preference:
1.) Lesley. Strange choice, I hear you say. But I will try to explain. Although she reminds me of a headmistress, i liked her from the moment I saw her as she just did not care and came across as having no time for idiots. Which I like. Sure to cause rifts in the house and keep the others on thier toes - and she came in right after the twins and it was brilliant to see thier faces when they were expecting some hunky guy to come walking in and instead they got thier worst nightmare! Well done, love!! Good luck to you!
2.) Emily. On paper, she should be number one because she is easily the best looking in the house. And she's got the best taste in music. And she's an intelligent girl. Heck, on paper she's my dream partner. However, i don't think she's a true rock chick. Would a true rock chick spend four grand on her teeth? No, a true rock chick would crack them whilst opening a bottle of beer and replace them with Mick Jagger's kidney stones. Or something.
3.) Carole. Funny, and reminds me of a friend of mine. (Vera). and she's a local girl, so you gotta keep the flag flying for East London!
4.) Shabzam. (Sorry if i spelled the name wrong - the first word that comes to mind is "Spirited". But i do get the impression that she could get annoying after a while.
5.) Tracey. The "Cheesy Quaver". Wierd, zany, funny-looking, but absolutely mental. Bit of a strange one i must admit; i am actually writing this list from bottom to top and was going to start with Tracey at no.10, but as I was writing it i realised how much i hated the other 5 contestants.
6.) Nikki. Did not really get anything from you. Sorry.
7.) Laura. I know she's probably a nice girl, but she reminds me too much of one of my aunts who is a bit of a tart. (Sorry Laura, i know i'm being a bit shallow there. Maybe you'll prove me wrong and i'll grow to love you. But i doubt it.) - Agree with you on the anti-smoking though.
8.) Chanelle. You are not Victoria Beckham. Without the sunglasses you look like the bird from the playstation advert.
9.) The Twins. Irritating bollock suckers. (I used to have a thing for twins but i have been permanently put off.
10.) Charlie. Would you even be on the show if you were not Keiran Richardson's cousin? Nice body, but from the shoulders upwards lets you down big time.
So there you have it. Not that I care that much about Big Brother, but for those of you that do, now you have my very much sought-after viewpoint on the Z-list stars of tomorrow.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Bank Holiday Boozing
Went to Quinn's friday night with Dean and Adrian. Quinns is probably the best pub in London, with a wide selection of Belgian and German beers, however we came on a bad night because the fridge had packed up so all the beers were at room temperature. Not that it stopped me drinking about eight bottles of some lethally strong belgian beer called Gavroche. Adrian was his usual self. He has mentioned putting in a word for Dean at his place of work. (FADS decorating shop in Walworth Road) . Jenna came down with Ross and some of his friends - they had been to a ceilidh. (That's a Gaelic folk dance). We got a bus back to hackney central and then put Adrian on a 55 - all the while doing impressions of the Glaswegian drug rehab guy from little britain.
On Saturday I went to Barking in the afternoon with my folks - my stepdad wants to buy an even bigger TV for the living room. (i have explained to him that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the one we already have, but it's his money to waste if he wants. At least it means I might get the old one in my room!!) Went shopping after that and came home. I tried to ring around and raise a posse for a night on the town but only Dean said he was up for it. We went to the Ben Crouch and then on to the Intrepid Fox - fast becoming a saturday routine. It was fun, but uneventful at the same time. Still better than spending a night in front of the TV watching american idol or something. I don't know why my stepdad wants a TV when the programmes are all so shit!!
I have to wrap up now as i have a few household jobs to do. My room looks like the aftermath of a wrestling match between Wayne and Chris Moyles.
On Saturday I went to Barking in the afternoon with my folks - my stepdad wants to buy an even bigger TV for the living room. (i have explained to him that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the one we already have, but it's his money to waste if he wants. At least it means I might get the old one in my room!!) Went shopping after that and came home. I tried to ring around and raise a posse for a night on the town but only Dean said he was up for it. We went to the Ben Crouch and then on to the Intrepid Fox - fast becoming a saturday routine. It was fun, but uneventful at the same time. Still better than spending a night in front of the TV watching american idol or something. I don't know why my stepdad wants a TV when the programmes are all so shit!!
I have to wrap up now as i have a few household jobs to do. My room looks like the aftermath of a wrestling match between Wayne and Chris Moyles.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Offside, Ref!
I have got a job.
My agency phoned me on Tuesday Afternoon as I was coming back from Tesco's and informed me that they had passed my details onto a company in south london and that they wanted me to start the very next day. Of course, I accepted the offer; looking on the website it seemed like Peckham would be quite difficult to get to without using the dreaded tube. There were a couple of bus routes which went there but it would mean changing at either Aldgate or Liverpool Street and going a bit out of my way. I decided to get the tube to Oval for the first day and see how it went; at least I would be able to ask around about bus routes when I got there. But I was too busy getting ready for Alfie's gig to worry too much about getting there. The gig went okay although there were not as many people as the first time. I actually thought Alfie played better, which was a shame as there were less people there to witness it. In fact, the entire audience consisted of friends of Alfie. Myself, Dean, Will, Wes, Jenna, Zoe and her friend turned up, along with my mum, stepdad and my mum's friend Neil. I was surprised that Russell (My Stepdad) turned up; it is not really his scene at all but he seemed to enjoy himself.
First day of work went fine. I like the place, people are all friendly and the job is not too demanding. But i don't like the area too much or the travelling. Central Line in the mornings is an absolute nightmare; luckily I only have to endure it for two stops. Northern line from Bank to Oval is actually okay; you are more or less guaranteed a seat as there are not many others on the train. Door to door takes about 25 - 30 minutes to get from my house to Oval. Then there is the bus ride which is full of chavs and high-school dickheads. This only takes about 12 minutes then there is a 5 minute walk to St. Giles Hospital, where I work.
Last night I went to Offside Bar on City Road - which as you can tell by the name is a very football-orientated bar. I
met up with Mikael the Swedish Boris Johnson lookalike (pictured) and his chums to watch Liverpool lose the champions league final. It was quite good although I only had enough for three pints. It was very hot in there and I had the idea of passing round these flyers that were next to the toilets for our group to use as fans. Mikael, being a Liverpool fan, was obviously gutted about the result but he took it rather well. I remember this time last year I was absolutely gutted when my beloved Arsenal lost to those Barcelona Bastards and was practically in tears on the streets of Cork. But i guess he would have been the same if Liverpool hadn't won the Champion's league two years before. Anyway, I am writing this on my lunch break which has just finished, so I better get back to work.
Peace out.
My agency phoned me on Tuesday Afternoon as I was coming back from Tesco's and informed me that they had passed my details onto a company in south london and that they wanted me to start the very next day. Of course, I accepted the offer; looking on the website it seemed like Peckham would be quite difficult to get to without using the dreaded tube. There were a couple of bus routes which went there but it would mean changing at either Aldgate or Liverpool Street and going a bit out of my way. I decided to get the tube to Oval for the first day and see how it went; at least I would be able to ask around about bus routes when I got there. But I was too busy getting ready for Alfie's gig to worry too much about getting there. The gig went okay although there were not as many people as the first time. I actually thought Alfie played better, which was a shame as there were less people there to witness it. In fact, the entire audience consisted of friends of Alfie. Myself, Dean, Will, Wes, Jenna, Zoe and her friend turned up, along with my mum, stepdad and my mum's friend Neil. I was surprised that Russell (My Stepdad) turned up; it is not really his scene at all but he seemed to enjoy himself.
First day of work went fine. I like the place, people are all friendly and the job is not too demanding. But i don't like the area too much or the travelling. Central Line in the mornings is an absolute nightmare; luckily I only have to endure it for two stops. Northern line from Bank to Oval is actually okay; you are more or less guaranteed a seat as there are not many others on the train. Door to door takes about 25 - 30 minutes to get from my house to Oval. Then there is the bus ride which is full of chavs and high-school dickheads. This only takes about 12 minutes then there is a 5 minute walk to St. Giles Hospital, where I work.
Last night I went to Offside Bar on City Road - which as you can tell by the name is a very football-orientated bar. I
met up with Mikael the Swedish Boris Johnson lookalike (pictured) and his chums to watch Liverpool lose the champions league final. It was quite good although I only had enough for three pints. It was very hot in there and I had the idea of passing round these flyers that were next to the toilets for our group to use as fans. Mikael, being a Liverpool fan, was obviously gutted about the result but he took it rather well. I remember this time last year I was absolutely gutted when my beloved Arsenal lost to those Barcelona Bastards and was practically in tears on the streets of Cork. But i guess he would have been the same if Liverpool hadn't won the Champion's league two years before. Anyway, I am writing this on my lunch break which has just finished, so I better get back to work.Peace out.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Hard-Rock Havoc and Heavy Metal Hellraising
Last night we took in two of London's best heavy metal venues: The Ben Crouch Tavern and The New Intrepid Fox. It was a great night. I was lucky I was able to go out at all as I was completely knackered from the previous night. I went out to Kenrick's bar on Essex Road Friday night with Jen and Alfie. They had karaoke on and I entertained the masses with my renditions of Deep Purple's "Black Night" and "Don't let me be misunderstood" by the Animals. Alfie belted out "Love is the Drug" and Joy Division's "Love will tear us apart", and Jen fulfilled a karaoke ambition by performing "Seven Seas of Rhye" - a song we had not previously found, and also did a brilliant version of T-Rex's "Twentieth Century Boy". Me and Alfie have an ongoing debate: T-Rex vs. The Sweet. Alfie is a big fan of The Sweet whereas I lean more towards T-Rex. Personally I think T-Rex piss all over The Sweet.
It was not a bad night although we kept being bothered by some old biddies who probably thought they were in the post office. To make them go away we had to shout "Cashier Number One, Please!" at regular intervals. We also got followed outside the pub by a drunken Italian man who wanted to share a taxi with us, even though we pointed out that Alfie's flat was two streets away. He kept talking to Jen and would not go away so we had to tell him to fuck off several times. Alfie went to get a kebab and as we were waiting outside for him the dickhead came up to us again and started to get all aggressive. However we were saved from confrontation by a very kind gentleman and the Italian guy walked away; and so did the peacemaker before we had a chance to thank him. Alfie returned from the kebab shop and invited us all back to his flat. the Italian AGAIN tried to bother us, but in the end we just couldn't be asked and ended up briskly walking away in the direction of Alfie's. As we turned the corner to Alfie's street we ran into the guy who'd helped us out and thanked him for his help. Then we spent the rest of the evening watching old bottom videos.
Woke up at Alfie's; had a nice breakfast of toast, ketchup and a double decker, and then went with Alfie and Jen to Angel as Alfie was due to meet up with his friend Ella. We had a few drinks in the Camden Head and then Alfie went off; me and Jen had a brief wander round the textile / antique shops and the French market, then I headed off home, hoping to have a few hour's kip before going to the Ben Crouch as arranged for Amelia's birthday, but no such luck. My mum sent me out to Tescos as soon as I'd got in, all because she was too busy watching the cup final and couldn't be bothered to go. Eventually got back, had something to eat and then got ready to go out. Arrived at the Ben Crouch to find Alfie already there - He had been drinking the whole way through. Lee was also there, and of course Amelia, who had hired out an entire section of the Ben Crouch. I wished her happy birthday and in return she covered me in little heart-shaped stickers. Alfie got talking to this absolutely GORGEOUS blond called Alex - I was quite jealous. The Jammy bugger. Apparently Lee had got off with her in the past and I noticed he seemed more than a little interested too. However, fate has a way of kicking you in the bollocks. I discovered she hated everything i stand for; Led Zeppelin, Heavy metal in general and football, and loved The Kinks and The League of Gentlemen - two of the most important things in Alfie's life. I left them to it and Jen and Will turned up with my accessories that I had left at Jen's flat a few weeks ago. Last orders was called and everyone else went off to some club to celebrate the remainder of Amelia's birthday, and me and Dean decided to walk to the Intrepid Fox.
Dean stopped off to get some chips from McDonalds and we eventually got to the Fox around midnight - surprised to find Alfie, Jen and Will already there. Apparently they had gone to the club but decided that the queue was too long, and made their way here instead. Apparently the blond went off with Lee. Met some guys in there from a band called Ad Alta (www.myspace.com/adalta) including one guy called Jonny who had the most amazing tattoos - ALL FOUR Led Zeppelin symbols on his right arm and a work in process on his left - the famous monk graphic from the Stairway to Heaven artwork. Showed him my Jimmy Page tattoo:
and had a bit of a chat. His friend Gaz whose birthday it was also had a Zeppelin tattoo - the swan song logo above his elbow. Drunk a lot of guinness and then headed home with Dean as he was feeling tired. By that point I had gone past tiredness. Got the Number 8 back to Bethnal Green and had to endure come college boys being drunk and disorderly on the bus. Dean went to get another 2 packets of chips - the greedy bastard - and then we walked home where I ate a lamb moussaka and watched half of the "Peckham Spring" episode of Only Fools and Horses which I had borrowed from Alfie that morning. Hilarious!
It was not a bad night although we kept being bothered by some old biddies who probably thought they were in the post office. To make them go away we had to shout "Cashier Number One, Please!" at regular intervals. We also got followed outside the pub by a drunken Italian man who wanted to share a taxi with us, even though we pointed out that Alfie's flat was two streets away. He kept talking to Jen and would not go away so we had to tell him to fuck off several times. Alfie went to get a kebab and as we were waiting outside for him the dickhead came up to us again and started to get all aggressive. However we were saved from confrontation by a very kind gentleman and the Italian guy walked away; and so did the peacemaker before we had a chance to thank him. Alfie returned from the kebab shop and invited us all back to his flat. the Italian AGAIN tried to bother us, but in the end we just couldn't be asked and ended up briskly walking away in the direction of Alfie's. As we turned the corner to Alfie's street we ran into the guy who'd helped us out and thanked him for his help. Then we spent the rest of the evening watching old bottom videos.
Woke up at Alfie's; had a nice breakfast of toast, ketchup and a double decker, and then went with Alfie and Jen to Angel as Alfie was due to meet up with his friend Ella. We had a few drinks in the Camden Head and then Alfie went off; me and Jen had a brief wander round the textile / antique shops and the French market, then I headed off home, hoping to have a few hour's kip before going to the Ben Crouch as arranged for Amelia's birthday, but no such luck. My mum sent me out to Tescos as soon as I'd got in, all because she was too busy watching the cup final and couldn't be bothered to go. Eventually got back, had something to eat and then got ready to go out. Arrived at the Ben Crouch to find Alfie already there - He had been drinking the whole way through. Lee was also there, and of course Amelia, who had hired out an entire section of the Ben Crouch. I wished her happy birthday and in return she covered me in little heart-shaped stickers. Alfie got talking to this absolutely GORGEOUS blond called Alex - I was quite jealous. The Jammy bugger. Apparently Lee had got off with her in the past and I noticed he seemed more than a little interested too. However, fate has a way of kicking you in the bollocks. I discovered she hated everything i stand for; Led Zeppelin, Heavy metal in general and football, and loved The Kinks and The League of Gentlemen - two of the most important things in Alfie's life. I left them to it and Jen and Will turned up with my accessories that I had left at Jen's flat a few weeks ago. Last orders was called and everyone else went off to some club to celebrate the remainder of Amelia's birthday, and me and Dean decided to walk to the Intrepid Fox.
Dean stopped off to get some chips from McDonalds and we eventually got to the Fox around midnight - surprised to find Alfie, Jen and Will already there. Apparently they had gone to the club but decided that the queue was too long, and made their way here instead. Apparently the blond went off with Lee. Met some guys in there from a band called Ad Alta (www.myspace.com/adalta) including one guy called Jonny who had the most amazing tattoos - ALL FOUR Led Zeppelin symbols on his right arm and a work in process on his left - the famous monk graphic from the Stairway to Heaven artwork. Showed him my Jimmy Page tattoo:
and had a bit of a chat. His friend Gaz whose birthday it was also had a Zeppelin tattoo - the swan song logo above his elbow. Drunk a lot of guinness and then headed home with Dean as he was feeling tired. By that point I had gone past tiredness. Got the Number 8 back to Bethnal Green and had to endure come college boys being drunk and disorderly on the bus. Dean went to get another 2 packets of chips - the greedy bastard - and then we walked home where I ate a lamb moussaka and watched half of the "Peckham Spring" episode of Only Fools and Horses which I had borrowed from Alfie that morning. Hilarious!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Thank god for Keith Floyd
Why is Daytime TV so shit?
Do the television people think that all we do during the daytime is sit at home looking for lower quotes on our car and home insurance? Sometimes I wish you could answer to those adverts that start by asking you questions. You know, those ones that come on and say "Are you a homeowner looking to borrow between 1,000 and 25,000 pounds?" or "Have you, or any menber of your family had an accident on the road or in the workplace?" For the last time, NO!!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! I do not want to consolidate my existing debts into one affordable monthly payment!! And even the programmes are pants. Bargain Hunt, Cash in the Attic etc - why not show a few repeats of Red Dwarf or something? Or one of those Australian aerobics shows featuring thos nice young ladies in bikinis? Thank god for Keith Floyd, who is top man.
Some of you may have noticed I have spiced up my blog a little with some new features including links to my journalism articles on www.helium.com, Dean's Blog (www.deansaliba.com) and the hilariously titled "Big Wide Man in the Big Wide World", the personal blog of Wayne Saliba (Dean's younger and much larger Brother.) And there is also a link where you can find out exactly how long you have got to live. (www.deathclock.com). I've also added a Top-5 list of my favourite pubs in London, which I will update regularly as I find new ones or if I feel a certain drinking venue deserves taking down a notch due to bad experiences. For example up until last week the Dolphin in Mare Street would have been in there, but it is always packed, guinness is crap and they stop serving draught at midnight. (I plan to do a completely separate section on pubs soon, so look out for that.) I've also added "Country of the Week" section. This is for no reason at all other than it brightens up the page a bit. This will be chosen at random by me every now and again or whenever I feel like it. (not necessarily every week). But if you feel a particular country deserves a go in the spotlight then let me know. (This week, Malta was chosen by Dean and Wayne alike.) So there you go. I must dash now as I have to go jobhunting and be back before 5 because I am playing football tonight.
Do the television people think that all we do during the daytime is sit at home looking for lower quotes on our car and home insurance? Sometimes I wish you could answer to those adverts that start by asking you questions. You know, those ones that come on and say "Are you a homeowner looking to borrow between 1,000 and 25,000 pounds?" or "Have you, or any menber of your family had an accident on the road or in the workplace?" For the last time, NO!!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! I do not want to consolidate my existing debts into one affordable monthly payment!! And even the programmes are pants. Bargain Hunt, Cash in the Attic etc - why not show a few repeats of Red Dwarf or something? Or one of those Australian aerobics shows featuring thos nice young ladies in bikinis? Thank god for Keith Floyd, who is top man.
Some of you may have noticed I have spiced up my blog a little with some new features including links to my journalism articles on www.helium.com, Dean's Blog (www.deansaliba.com) and the hilariously titled "Big Wide Man in the Big Wide World", the personal blog of Wayne Saliba (Dean's younger and much larger Brother.) And there is also a link where you can find out exactly how long you have got to live. (www.deathclock.com). I've also added a Top-5 list of my favourite pubs in London, which I will update regularly as I find new ones or if I feel a certain drinking venue deserves taking down a notch due to bad experiences. For example up until last week the Dolphin in Mare Street would have been in there, but it is always packed, guinness is crap and they stop serving draught at midnight. (I plan to do a completely separate section on pubs soon, so look out for that.) I've also added "Country of the Week" section. This is for no reason at all other than it brightens up the page a bit. This will be chosen at random by me every now and again or whenever I feel like it. (not necessarily every week). But if you feel a particular country deserves a go in the spotlight then let me know. (This week, Malta was chosen by Dean and Wayne alike.) So there you go. I must dash now as I have to go jobhunting and be back before 5 because I am playing football tonight.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Wayne, Wayne, Go Away…!!!
I went out on Saturday with Dean and his brother, Wayne.
I have not seen Wayne now for around two years and it was good to see him. He hasn’t changed a bit; he is still wide as a barn door. Although he has stopped hugging people when drunk and wasting drinks by throwing them at people. We went to Lee Hurst’s Backyard comedy club. We have been there a fair few times over the years, and sometimes the acts that are on are repeated and never change their sets so occasionally you have to sit through a set you’ve heard before. But Saturday was great. We had Lee Hurst himself as the compere, and he was on form as he usually is – (I particularly liked the way he wound up a bunch of northerners in the audience) – then Howard Read as the opener who was quite entertaining, Matt Brown who was okay, and then the headline act was a guy called Steve Day who is Britain’s only deaf comic. I have seen him before and thought he was very good, but this time he was fantastic!! Very funny and his set was virtually all new material which is promising. After the acts finished we did something we have never done before and stayed in the club. (They usually put on a bit of a disco afterwards, but we used to go to the Hayfield down the road rather than hang around). However, after the last couple of times we went to the Hayfield the standard in there has dropped considerably and I don’t think any of us could be bothered to walk for ten minutes to a pub where you have to pay to have a below average night. I pointed out to Wayne that he should go to the bar as he was the nearest, but he pointed out that he was also the furthest away. So I went to the bar and we had another 4-pint jug of Carling and talked about politics. I knew that Dean was quite clued up on politics but I was surprised to hear Wayne discussing some of the finer points of local government policy with him - Sometimes people surprise you. I was left in the middle like a cat watching a tennis match, barely able to get a word in. I really should try to take more of an interest in politics. But it was a good night. Wayne only Irish whipped me into one garage door on the way to the kebab shop, where we got a kebab each (well I had salad and houmous in pitta bread as it was all I could afford) and went home.
Note – I have yet to walk into any kebab shop in London whose menu is spelt 100% correctly. A few times some have come close; but there’s always one small mistake like “CILLI SAUCE” or “CHIKCEN DONNER”, or the best one, spotted in a kebab shop in Kilburn High Road – “HOMOS IN PITTA BREAD” !!! So I take it you get a pitta bread filled with George Michael and Paul O’Grady and the like…!!!
Note – I have yet to walk into any kebab shop in London whose menu is spelt 100% correctly. A few times some have come close; but there’s always one small mistake like “CILLI SAUCE” or “CHIKCEN DONNER”, or the best one, spotted in a kebab shop in Kilburn High Road – “HOMOS IN PITTA BREAD” !!! So I take it you get a pitta bread filled with George Michael and Paul O’Grady and the like…!!!
Monday, May 07, 2007
Bank Holiday Boredom.
I hate bank holidays at ours – nobody ever goes out or does anything. My mum and stepdad use their bank holidays to do all those odd cleaning jobs that you only do on Bank holidays. Such as cleaning round the back of the boiler and hoovering under the carpet. I don’t know about all of you, but I don’t really care how filthy the back of my boiler gets. That’s what the boiler cupboard door is for. And they get really pissed off with me when I don’t join in. Today was very boring and dragged on and on like a Charlton Heston film. I tried to find things to do but just ended up playing International Superstar Soccer – trying to beat Brazil on the hardest level playing as Papua New Guinea with seven men against eleven, and the lowest motivation and keeper level. I got hammered again and again by the computer. But I did manage to score one goal. Ha! You’ll never beat me, Playstation!! I hardly ever play the thing any more since I got bored with Final Fantasy 12. I also read the Red Dwarf scripts book for Series VIII from cover to cover. By about six o clock I was in search of anything I could overdose on. I drank all my beer last night when my cousin Nina and her boyfriend Jimmy came round, so I have none left now. Which is quite shit. Immensely shit. By lack of money I am forced into sobriety. I feel funny. Anyway, going to sign off now and try and sneak some Becks off of the boiler-cleaners.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Bank Holiday Blow-Out
It is Bank Holiday weekend. Which is great, if you’ve got money to do stuff. I haven’t – but I’ve just managed to get by this weekend although I had to borrow some money which I hate doing. But hey, it’s all for me grog. On Friday I went to the Dolphin in Mare Street with Dean. It was a pretty average night, although I am starting to believe Will when he says that Dean attracts trouble. Not to say for one second that he goes looking for trouble but it does seem to find him. This time it was in the form of some right ignorant dickhead (Obviously this is a slightly biased view) who was standing next to us at the back. I don’t actually know what he said that upset Dean but Dean wanted to knock him out. But like I mentioned before it was a pretty average night.
Last night I went to the new intrepid fox. For those of you who had never heard of the old one, it used to be in Wardour Street and was legendary for playing heavy metal. It was THE place to be if you were “Alternative”. I only went there once, with my then-girlfriend and her mates. But it closed down as it was bought by some businessman who wants to turn it into something other than a pub. Fucking killjoy. But the owners were undeterred; they used the money to buy another pub not too far away, and I am pleased to say that they have made it into a better place than the original. For starters it is in a much better location (Around the back of centre point and faces onto a quiet street with a church opposite, rather than sandwiched in between a sleazy sex shop and a Soho crack den.) The interior has retained much of it’s alternative atmosphere, and the music policy of course remains unchanged. It’s a lot bigger, and has two floors just like the old one did. Upstairs at the old Fox was very cramped and you actually had to queue for the bar as it was literally a window. Here we got seats at the bar; Myself, Will, and all four members of Toxicslut: Jenna, Sonia, Jo and Lee. It was a thoroughly enjoyable night. Lee immediately went off to check out the talent (He is like a wind-up doll; you just need to throw him into a pub and he will automatically find girls who are drinking on their own and engage them in conversation. – providing they appear to be under 18 years of age.) Jo had recently broken her wrist but has now had the cast removed. She was still having slight difficulty lifting pint glasses but she managed okay. We had a go at one of our favourite pub pastimes, the game called “In the Style Of.” Where one person picks a song and someone else chooses the style it has to be sung in. The best ones so far are Pure Morning by Placebo in the style of a sea chantey, and Motorhead’s Ace of Spades in the style of Dolly Parton. Hilarious!
The bar staff were all very friendly, apart from one girl who looked at me like I had just urinated on her doorstep. I asked her if she sued them – when she asked who I replied “the charm school.” Lee eventually got talking to an Italian girl and her Scottish friend until him and Sonia left a bit early. The rest of us left at chucking-out time – Jo got a black cab and Will, Jenna and I got the bus back to our respective abodes. Overall it was a very good night. I came home, watched Little Britain and ate a tin of mackerel before going to bed. Woke up this morning with an incredible hangover but dragged myself out of bed and cleaned the bathroom. My nan has just rung up to say that she found a receipt in the bottom of her shopping bag and the particular branch of Somerfields that my mum went to get her shopping was next to an Argos, which was just being erected when she started work around that area back in the early sixties. At least I can sleep tonight knowing that. (- I’m sure she phones sometimes for the sake of it) Never mind. It was her birthday yesterday and she got more cards than me. I have to go round on Tuesday and take her pension and cat chews round – so I’m sure I will hear the full story again.
Last night I went to the new intrepid fox. For those of you who had never heard of the old one, it used to be in Wardour Street and was legendary for playing heavy metal. It was THE place to be if you were “Alternative”. I only went there once, with my then-girlfriend and her mates. But it closed down as it was bought by some businessman who wants to turn it into something other than a pub. Fucking killjoy. But the owners were undeterred; they used the money to buy another pub not too far away, and I am pleased to say that they have made it into a better place than the original. For starters it is in a much better location (Around the back of centre point and faces onto a quiet street with a church opposite, rather than sandwiched in between a sleazy sex shop and a Soho crack den.) The interior has retained much of it’s alternative atmosphere, and the music policy of course remains unchanged. It’s a lot bigger, and has two floors just like the old one did. Upstairs at the old Fox was very cramped and you actually had to queue for the bar as it was literally a window. Here we got seats at the bar; Myself, Will, and all four members of Toxicslut: Jenna, Sonia, Jo and Lee. It was a thoroughly enjoyable night. Lee immediately went off to check out the talent (He is like a wind-up doll; you just need to throw him into a pub and he will automatically find girls who are drinking on their own and engage them in conversation. – providing they appear to be under 18 years of age.) Jo had recently broken her wrist but has now had the cast removed. She was still having slight difficulty lifting pint glasses but she managed okay. We had a go at one of our favourite pub pastimes, the game called “In the Style Of.” Where one person picks a song and someone else chooses the style it has to be sung in. The best ones so far are Pure Morning by Placebo in the style of a sea chantey, and Motorhead’s Ace of Spades in the style of Dolly Parton. Hilarious!
The bar staff were all very friendly, apart from one girl who looked at me like I had just urinated on her doorstep. I asked her if she sued them – when she asked who I replied “the charm school.” Lee eventually got talking to an Italian girl and her Scottish friend until him and Sonia left a bit early. The rest of us left at chucking-out time – Jo got a black cab and Will, Jenna and I got the bus back to our respective abodes. Overall it was a very good night. I came home, watched Little Britain and ate a tin of mackerel before going to bed. Woke up this morning with an incredible hangover but dragged myself out of bed and cleaned the bathroom. My nan has just rung up to say that she found a receipt in the bottom of her shopping bag and the particular branch of Somerfields that my mum went to get her shopping was next to an Argos, which was just being erected when she started work around that area back in the early sixties. At least I can sleep tonight knowing that. (- I’m sure she phones sometimes for the sake of it) Never mind. It was her birthday yesterday and she got more cards than me. I have to go round on Tuesday and take her pension and cat chews round – so I’m sure I will hear the full story again.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Back to Civilisation.
I have returned unscathed from my painting / decorating vacation in Littlehampton. (Well, apart from a slight sunburn on my right arm – my left arm is as white as anything. If I hold them together they look like the polish flag.) My cousins are growing up really fast nowadays; Robert, the oldest of the two, is now taller than me. He’s 14. The painting job went okay, I’m amazed I managed to get through it without once falling off of the ladder or spilling any paint. We went to Arundel football club on Sunday afternoon to watch George (My youngest cousin)’s presentation. His team came second this season just gone and they have now been promoted so the club gave them all medals. Me and my uncle drank five pints each in the clubhouse – fuck me does he drink fast!! I had trouble keeping up with him.
I face a moral dilemma. I found a digital camera on the train. After looking through the photos it would seem that the guy works in a bar down the west end, which I could easily trace via the internet…but I’m not sure. It’s a nice camera. I don’t have a digital camera myself…and it could come in handy for this blog that nobody reads anyway. On the other hand, I could sell it - I’m sure it is worth a few bob. Humble readers, I need your help. Tell me what I should do. But not what is the right thing to do, I already know that. I want to know which option would be more interesting to write about afterwards.
a) Be a good citizen and attempt to return it.
b) Keep it, and finally be able to say that I own something that was made this millennium, or
c) Sell it in search of a fast buck to spend on having a drunken good time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Last night was excellent. I went to the Lion on Church Street for Alfie’s gig. He and his new friend Harry played excellent sets each and Will and Jenna DJ’ed and played some great tunes. (I particularly liked their DJ names –Jenna Cidal and DJ Will Da Beast). I accompanied Alfie with the harmony for his Yardbirds cover of “For Your Love”, and tried my hand at a little stand-up comedy, which proved to be as popular as Danish bacon in a mosque. Everyone who is anyone was there – Spanky and Lee, Alfie’s flatmate Claire and her boyfriend, Lizzie and Dean.
(Pictured)
I face a moral dilemma. I found a digital camera on the train. After looking through the photos it would seem that the guy works in a bar down the west end, which I could easily trace via the internet…but I’m not sure. It’s a nice camera. I don’t have a digital camera myself…and it could come in handy for this blog that nobody reads anyway. On the other hand, I could sell it - I’m sure it is worth a few bob. Humble readers, I need your help. Tell me what I should do. But not what is the right thing to do, I already know that. I want to know which option would be more interesting to write about afterwards.
a) Be a good citizen and attempt to return it.
b) Keep it, and finally be able to say that I own something that was made this millennium, or
c) Sell it in search of a fast buck to spend on having a drunken good time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Last night was excellent. I went to the Lion on Church Street for Alfie’s gig. He and his new friend Harry played excellent sets each and Will and Jenna DJ’ed and played some great tunes. (I particularly liked their DJ names –Jenna Cidal and DJ Will Da Beast). I accompanied Alfie with the harmony for his Yardbirds cover of “For Your Love”, and tried my hand at a little stand-up comedy, which proved to be as popular as Danish bacon in a mosque. Everyone who is anyone was there – Spanky and Lee, Alfie’s flatmate Claire and her boyfriend, Lizzie and Dean.
(Pictured) Alfie’s set was awesome – he played songs from his upcoming album “Demons Aren’t forever” including “Wall of Silence”, “Forgotten How To Sleep” and my personal favourite which I had not previously heard “Reflections in the Water”. I worked on the door charging people three quid each to get in and then drawing on their hands with a green felt tip. I drunk eight pints of Guinness in the Lion, and then we moved on to the Defoe where I had another two. Harry – Alfie’s mate – was being a bit of a prat especially to Jenna. If I see him again and he continues to do it I will have to take him to one side and tell him to cut it out. Other than that, and Alfie having a bit of a tantrum when people accused him of being tight (Which he isn’t, and for which we nearly got thrown out of the pub) – it was a great night. Can’t remember getting home at all but it is now 12 o clock the next day and my head hurts like hell.
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