"I'm Baaaaack!!!"
Apologies (if only to myself) that I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. As you know my folks went away for 10 days (Don't ask) and nothing exciting enough to write about really happened. I got stood up by Heather, ate a few curries and drank over 70 cans of beer. Oh, actually I did have a pretty cool day hanging round Camden Lock with Wes and Alfie on the Saturday. (Don't ask) But I'll write about last weekend just gone instead and take it from there.
Friday. Went to the Ben Crouch with Billy, Mandy, Johnny Brace and Steven, who is a friend of the Bracegirdle clan. I met Mandy at Tottenham Court Road tube and we walked through the backstreets taking the scenic route. I tried to convince Mandy that the Post Office Tower was a space rocket that they were going to launch in a few weeks time. She didn't believe me. (Why am I not surprised). It was good to see Billy out with us, and John as well. Sometimes I think John needs to go out even more than Billy does. We went from the Crouch to the 'Tepid Fox where it was a little more than tepid! But we got a table so it wasn't all bad. Got railroaded talking to some mad Irish guy at the bar (Don't ask) and that was that!
Saturday was okay as well. Me and Dean started off in the Bavarian Beerhouse. Anyone who has not been I would advise it just for the experience. It is a proper Bavarian beerhouse in the heart of London. (Well, City road.) But it's more of a sit-down affair where you get table service and they serve German food and of course German beer in those huge glasses. I watched an armwrestle between a German guy and a bald headed Ukrainian psychopath, who lost. The waitress seemed very eager to play a game with me. (Don't ask) I got all excited until I discovered she meant a game where you have to press down a plastic crocodile's teeth and the loser has to buy a round. I lost. We went from the Beerhouse to the Mucky Pup and met up with Alfie, Wes and his fianceé, Mattanja. She was quite lively and started giving everyone "Blue-noses". (Don't ask). Okay, For those of you who don't know, that's when you rub the chalk from the pool table on the end of someone's nose. (Depends on the colour of the chalk, I've had a few red-noses before now too.) But that was about all I can remember. My hands are sore from just typing up the entire DSA theory test (Don't ask). so I'll keep this post short and sweet and i'm off to the Ballroom tomorrow with Mandy and Billy and co after meeting up with the girls at the Templars. So I'll keep you posted.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
A series of strange situations.
The big party is about to start.
My folks are going away for 10 WHOLE DAYS!!! so i have the whole flat to myself!!! Hmmm... how much hell can I raise in 10 days???
For my devoted readers, you may have noticed that I don't talk about my lovelife very often. This is for a good reason, I don't have one. But briefly. for those of you that don't already know, Jenna (Who you may have read about in some of my blog posts) is my ex. We dated for a year and a half and broke up in February. But there are no hard feelings there, we get along great and still see each other all the time. She is and always has been a great friend and I will always have a lot of time for her. Jenna was the second serious relationship I had been in. The first was Heather, a Geordie lass who I was very much in love with (When I was a lot younger). However, the distance proved to be too much but I was young and inexperienced anyway. But recently I came across her Myspace profile by sheer chance, and was quite surprised to see her on there. I sent her a message and she replied, and recently we have been talking on MSN. She is now at Leeds Uni and doing okay for herself. But here is the twist...she is coming to London in a few days time and we have planned to meet up.
This is going to be a strange situation. But altogether I have a good feeling about it. It will be great to see her again anyway. So I'll keep you posted...
...I have just noticed that I still have some kind of contact with all of my exes. (I've been in four relationships altogether but two of them were only semi-serious). That worries me. Jenna is an exception because she is a friend (In fact, when I was talking to Will last night he told me that he'd never thought that a couple who had broken up and said they were going to stay friends could ever work until he saw how me and Jenna were, and that it was a credit to the both of us. I thought it was a very nice thing to say, and also true.) Recently I have been speaking to Heather as previously mentioned, and I still hear about Marie because I am friends with her friends (Mikael and the rest of the Swedish contingent), although I don't have any direct contact with her. Dani, my Australian Ex, still has my e-mail address and she sends me a message from time to time. But that's her having contact with me rather than the other way around. I speak to her out of politeness and cos i'm cool with it. Maybe I'm just one of these guys who values the friendship side of a relationship as well as everything else that goes with it. I don't know.
This weekend was fairly average. I went out with Adrian and Dean on Friday night, we went to the Ben Crouch. It was a night for meeting people I had not seen for ages. On the bus on the way there I saw a guy called Noel, who I knew from the Hayfield not many moons ago. This was another strange situation. After I broke up with Marie, we also tried to stay friends for a while although it didn't go so well. But we would go to the Hayfield on Tuesday nights for the pound night, and it was there we met Noel. I remember at the time I was quoting a Billy Connolly phrase to her, the one about how when two living things meet, regardless of species, there is a series of subconscious thoughts that takes place: it's something along the lines of "Can I eat it, Can it eat me, Can i shag it?" And this apparently happens in the blink of an eye. Well, Noel happened to be walking past as I said this. And Marie's response was "I can't eat him, he can't eat me, but i'd definitely shag him." and I was like "okay....whatever!!" But it was cool as I got talking to Noel and his mate and he seemed like a decent enough bloke. So they got it on that night. And I didn't see much of either of them after that.
I don't know how many of you have been in that situation where you have found out that a bloke has shagged the same bird as you. It's a strange situation, especially if you actually like the guy. Noel is a top man. But after we saw each other on the bus and started reminiscing, before long the subject of Marie came up.
After Noel got off (of the bus), Dean summed it up perfectly in one of his moments that just make Dean a great asset to have around. He said "I couldn't help noticing that you two were comparing notes".
Anyway, keeping on the theme of seeing people I had not seen for many moons, in the Ben Crouch I ran into a guy called Imran Hussain. Imran had been in my year group at school and in a couple of my classes. It was good to see him; we reminisced about school days and he reminded me of a lot of things that I thought I'd forgotten. Then he got drunk and told me who he'd lost his virginity to. I won't repeat the name but it was somebody in our year group and I was rather shocked to find out who. It was a great laugh though (The evening, I mean. I don't mean when Imran lost his virginity to Sarah Brown.) *devilish smirk*
It was great to see Imran and I was surprised to see how much he had changed. Whilst we were swapping jokes with the rest of his posse, he got a call from another guy I had gone to school with, Abdul Hafiz. I remember I used to get on quite well with Hafiz, and we thought it would be funny if I answered the phone. I spoke to him for about six minutes before he realised who I was, and he said we should meet up soon. I said I was definitely up for it.
Anyhow, Myself, Dean and Adrian went off to the Intrepid Fox just down the road, where we ran into some members of Ad Alta (The band I had met previously but still have not seen live.) I was suprised in my much more sober state to notice how much Johnny looks like Kurt Cobain (with shorter hair). I had not previously looked at his face for too long as I was mesmerised by the sheer brilliance of his body art. (He has now had the Stairway To Heaven tattoo filled in on his arm, and it looiks the bollocks.) Gaz was there too, it took a moment before he remembered me, but they remembered the blog. That was about it for Friday.
Saturday daytime was very uneventful. I slept till about half past 2 then woke up, played Tony Hawk's Project 8 for a bit then jumped in the shower. It was one of those nights where on paper it promised to be a howler, but it actually materialised as a fairly average night. I had spoken to Alfie the day before and he said that himself and his brother Jack were about tonight. I had not seen Jack in ages so I was quite eager to meet up with him. Additionally Jenna and Yvonne were going on a girl's night out but would be stopping for a drink beforehand, and Amanda said she might stop by on her way to Old Street to see a friend playing at some club. After I got out of the shower I was trying to get in touch with everyone but nobody was answering. It was quite frustrating. I phoned Alfie a few times but got his "Life on Mars" answerphone message, then played it to my mum, who phoned it about another 5 times just so she could listen to Alfie's so-so Sam Tyler impression. Eventually I arranged to meet Jenna and Yvonne in the Camden Head at half 7, and Alfie and Jack would come down at 8.
I got the bus over to Angel, and spotted Jenna between the pillars as I walked past the tube station. She was waiting for Yvonne. I went over and said hi, and waited for the Scots lady to arrive. Yvonne had bought Jenna a present - a boxset of this old sitcom they both like whose name I can't remember. We made our way to the Camden Head in the rain, and sat outside. Alfie and Jack turned up, followed by Will. We talked about sitcoms, superheroes, the smoking ban, and great and poor drummers, (particularly Bonham's genius and Meg White's lack of a contribution to the White Stripes and Music.) Then Alfie was being an old woman so he went home with Jack to have a curry and watch Bill Bailey on DVD, and Will and I stayed in the pub to drink. We had quite a deep conversation, and I was able to gain a bit more of an insight into Will's background and family life, which I won't go into, but I was quite moved and intrigued by it. I have a lot of respect for Will - he's been through a lot. We also talked about his visit to the States last year, and his relationship with Imogen, which was also quite eye-opening although for different reasons which I also won't go into.
But that was that - I came home on the 38 and then the 55, and slept most of the day today before going to Tesco's briefly to get some food supplies for the 10 days I'll have the run of the place, played Canis Canem Edit for a while, then came online and I am now writing this.
My folks are going away for 10 WHOLE DAYS!!! so i have the whole flat to myself!!! Hmmm... how much hell can I raise in 10 days???
For my devoted readers, you may have noticed that I don't talk about my lovelife very often. This is for a good reason, I don't have one. But briefly. for those of you that don't already know, Jenna (Who you may have read about in some of my blog posts) is my ex. We dated for a year and a half and broke up in February. But there are no hard feelings there, we get along great and still see each other all the time. She is and always has been a great friend and I will always have a lot of time for her. Jenna was the second serious relationship I had been in. The first was Heather, a Geordie lass who I was very much in love with (When I was a lot younger). However, the distance proved to be too much but I was young and inexperienced anyway. But recently I came across her Myspace profile by sheer chance, and was quite surprised to see her on there. I sent her a message and she replied, and recently we have been talking on MSN. She is now at Leeds Uni and doing okay for herself. But here is the twist...she is coming to London in a few days time and we have planned to meet up.
This is going to be a strange situation. But altogether I have a good feeling about it. It will be great to see her again anyway. So I'll keep you posted...
...I have just noticed that I still have some kind of contact with all of my exes. (I've been in four relationships altogether but two of them were only semi-serious). That worries me. Jenna is an exception because she is a friend (In fact, when I was talking to Will last night he told me that he'd never thought that a couple who had broken up and said they were going to stay friends could ever work until he saw how me and Jenna were, and that it was a credit to the both of us. I thought it was a very nice thing to say, and also true.) Recently I have been speaking to Heather as previously mentioned, and I still hear about Marie because I am friends with her friends (Mikael and the rest of the Swedish contingent), although I don't have any direct contact with her. Dani, my Australian Ex, still has my e-mail address and she sends me a message from time to time. But that's her having contact with me rather than the other way around. I speak to her out of politeness and cos i'm cool with it. Maybe I'm just one of these guys who values the friendship side of a relationship as well as everything else that goes with it. I don't know.
This weekend was fairly average. I went out with Adrian and Dean on Friday night, we went to the Ben Crouch. It was a night for meeting people I had not seen for ages. On the bus on the way there I saw a guy called Noel, who I knew from the Hayfield not many moons ago. This was another strange situation. After I broke up with Marie, we also tried to stay friends for a while although it didn't go so well. But we would go to the Hayfield on Tuesday nights for the pound night, and it was there we met Noel. I remember at the time I was quoting a Billy Connolly phrase to her, the one about how when two living things meet, regardless of species, there is a series of subconscious thoughts that takes place: it's something along the lines of "Can I eat it, Can it eat me, Can i shag it?" And this apparently happens in the blink of an eye. Well, Noel happened to be walking past as I said this. And Marie's response was "I can't eat him, he can't eat me, but i'd definitely shag him." and I was like "okay....whatever!!" But it was cool as I got talking to Noel and his mate and he seemed like a decent enough bloke. So they got it on that night. And I didn't see much of either of them after that.
I don't know how many of you have been in that situation where you have found out that a bloke has shagged the same bird as you. It's a strange situation, especially if you actually like the guy. Noel is a top man. But after we saw each other on the bus and started reminiscing, before long the subject of Marie came up.
After Noel got off (of the bus), Dean summed it up perfectly in one of his moments that just make Dean a great asset to have around. He said "I couldn't help noticing that you two were comparing notes".
Anyway, keeping on the theme of seeing people I had not seen for many moons, in the Ben Crouch I ran into a guy called Imran Hussain. Imran had been in my year group at school and in a couple of my classes. It was good to see him; we reminisced about school days and he reminded me of a lot of things that I thought I'd forgotten. Then he got drunk and told me who he'd lost his virginity to. I won't repeat the name but it was somebody in our year group and I was rather shocked to find out who. It was a great laugh though (The evening, I mean. I don't mean when Imran lost his virginity to Sarah Brown.) *devilish smirk*
It was great to see Imran and I was surprised to see how much he had changed. Whilst we were swapping jokes with the rest of his posse, he got a call from another guy I had gone to school with, Abdul Hafiz. I remember I used to get on quite well with Hafiz, and we thought it would be funny if I answered the phone. I spoke to him for about six minutes before he realised who I was, and he said we should meet up soon. I said I was definitely up for it.
Anyhow, Myself, Dean and Adrian went off to the Intrepid Fox just down the road, where we ran into some members of Ad Alta (The band I had met previously but still have not seen live.) I was suprised in my much more sober state to notice how much Johnny looks like Kurt Cobain (with shorter hair). I had not previously looked at his face for too long as I was mesmerised by the sheer brilliance of his body art. (He has now had the Stairway To Heaven tattoo filled in on his arm, and it looiks the bollocks.) Gaz was there too, it took a moment before he remembered me, but they remembered the blog. That was about it for Friday.
Saturday daytime was very uneventful. I slept till about half past 2 then woke up, played Tony Hawk's Project 8 for a bit then jumped in the shower. It was one of those nights where on paper it promised to be a howler, but it actually materialised as a fairly average night. I had spoken to Alfie the day before and he said that himself and his brother Jack were about tonight. I had not seen Jack in ages so I was quite eager to meet up with him. Additionally Jenna and Yvonne were going on a girl's night out but would be stopping for a drink beforehand, and Amanda said she might stop by on her way to Old Street to see a friend playing at some club. After I got out of the shower I was trying to get in touch with everyone but nobody was answering. It was quite frustrating. I phoned Alfie a few times but got his "Life on Mars" answerphone message, then played it to my mum, who phoned it about another 5 times just so she could listen to Alfie's so-so Sam Tyler impression. Eventually I arranged to meet Jenna and Yvonne in the Camden Head at half 7, and Alfie and Jack would come down at 8.
I got the bus over to Angel, and spotted Jenna between the pillars as I walked past the tube station. She was waiting for Yvonne. I went over and said hi, and waited for the Scots lady to arrive. Yvonne had bought Jenna a present - a boxset of this old sitcom they both like whose name I can't remember. We made our way to the Camden Head in the rain, and sat outside. Alfie and Jack turned up, followed by Will. We talked about sitcoms, superheroes, the smoking ban, and great and poor drummers, (particularly Bonham's genius and Meg White's lack of a contribution to the White Stripes and Music.) Then Alfie was being an old woman so he went home with Jack to have a curry and watch Bill Bailey on DVD, and Will and I stayed in the pub to drink. We had quite a deep conversation, and I was able to gain a bit more of an insight into Will's background and family life, which I won't go into, but I was quite moved and intrigued by it. I have a lot of respect for Will - he's been through a lot. We also talked about his visit to the States last year, and his relationship with Imogen, which was also quite eye-opening although for different reasons which I also won't go into.
But that was that - I came home on the 38 and then the 55, and slept most of the day today before going to Tesco's briefly to get some food supplies for the 10 days I'll have the run of the place, played Canis Canem Edit for a while, then came online and I am now writing this.
Monday, June 25, 2007
The Longest Post.
Thursday I lost my job because I fucked up at work...but never mind and all that. So Thursday night I told my cousin to fuck off as I was not in the mood for football and instead went to Alfie's gig down at the Mucky Pup. I was skeptical that there would be enough room in there for a gig. But they put Alfie on the pool table which was covered with a sheet and thus made a makeshift "stage". He was the first act on out of 4 acts and they got worse as they went on (with the exception of Bernie, who came on right after Alfie and was absolutely brilliant, just as I imagine Alfie to be like in 20 years - you know, one of those musicians who is just music through and through. Anyway - I stayed in the Pup till way after closing time, they had a lock-in. I didn't get home till gone 4!! With not more than 10 quid in my wallet at any point during the evening that's quite a minor miracle!! Although I do remember Jude (The Barmaid) buying me a pint on the condition that I would get her a couple back the next time I was in.
On Friday I took Jenna out for some Tapas as it was her birthday. We originally had planned to go to Masala Zone but it was shut. I bought her Gok Wan's book "How to look good naked" as a birthday present and absent-mindedly bought her a card as well, forgetting that I had already bought her one and left it at home. We had some intersting cocktails in Cuba Libre - Jen had a Margherita which was mixed just right (It should taste slightly of petroleum) and I had one called a "Kruschev Heel" (containing Sloe gin, Southern Comfort, Vodka and Orange Juice). The girls had invited me out for a drink that night and I had already informed Billy who said he would be there. I then left for the Knight's Templar. However, when I arrived he was with John hammond...and Hugh Enright.
Hugh Enright is my enemy. He tried to get me fired twice before and has called me a thief on numerous occasions. I really can't stand the guy. Hammond was always alright with me before but in fact it was he, and not Enright, who started with me this night. When I whispered a Bernard Manning gag to Billy out of respect for Mr. Manning's passing, hammond thought I was talking about him and then accused me of "glaring" at him. I must just point out that I have never "glared" at anybody before, for I know not how. If my face appears that way, you'll have to blame my parents for "glaring" at each other whilst I was being conceived, and if I have inherited either of thier "glares" as my normal face then sue Charles Darwin for his natural selection theory. It all kicked off from there. I was so wound up afterwards I actually had to go and engage Caroline in a conversation. Billy came over and we all started talking about how long a guy should be expected to last in bed. Which was nice.
I had arranged to meet Alfie in the New Rose in Essex Road at about half 8, and from there we were going to go on the pull. I was literally so inundated with appointments that evening that it was a miracle I managed to keep them all. I had also arranged to meet LJ in the 12 Bar club later on that evening. So I planned to go and grab Alfie, have a quick pint and make our way there.
I got to the New Rose and looked everywhere for Alfie but couldn't find him, so I turned around to leave and saw him sitting at the bar. We had a quick pint there and then walked to the Camden Head. I had seen Bart (The Barman) on the night bus home the previous night, and said I would see him in there at some stage. But he wasn't there. So we drank up, got some chips and then the bus to the 12 Bar, on which we talked to two very nice Asian girls who were drinking whisky.
Got to the 12 Bar to find LJ being chatted up by some random. I said hello (eventually) and introduced her to Alfie. Don't ask me why but I got the impression she was more into Alfie than me. So I took Alfie to one side and told him if he fancied her to go for it, although looking back that was probably not a very wise move. We then went on to the Intrepid Fox - me, Alfie, LJ and her friend Stephen, who is a geography teacher. We had a few there and did a few Mighty Boosh quotes. (LJ is a big fan of the "Old Greg" Episode, so we talked a lot about Man-ginas.) Then I crashed at Alfie's and had the worst hangover I ever had in the morning.
Alfie went out and came back while I was still asleep. I woke up about quarter past two, and then we went to Angel, had some greasy chinese and a very nice juice cocktail, then I went home to briefly play some retro games and then get ready in time for Jenna's birthday celebrations down at Masala Zone. I had arranged to meet Alfie at the two white crosses. I was late but still the first one there. It was a lovely meal; myself, Alfie and all four members of ToxicSlut attended and we had a great time. Then Me and Alfie left to get Jen a joke birthday present: Two bags of flour - from the Red Dwarf episode where Lister gets two bags of flour for Kochanski (Flour, Flowers).
We went to the Albion. It was very packed but we had a GREAT turnout. When we arrived Ross was waiting at the door. We went in and the others arrived one by one. Jen herself, Lee, Jo, Spanky, Amanda, Anne-Marie, Kevin, Sam, My folks, Yvonne... and it was a decent night. Although I got harangued by a mad middle-aged woman who was shocked that I had not seen Spinal Tap and then made it her duty to give me a lecture about that fact. So I lumbered her with Alfie and went back inside. The others planned to go to Club de Fromage but myself and Alfie had already decided against it as we had had heavy ones for the past two nights. Ross also said he was skint, and would not be going. I invited him to the Mucky Pup for a nightcap with me and Alfie when the Albion closed, but he vanished. On the way there, Alfie changed his mind and decided to go to the Fromage. I was against it but decided I would tag along. But on the way Wes phoned Alfie and said he was outside Borders with his fiancee. We have all been looking forward to meeting her for ages now. So we met up with them and took them to the Mucky Pup with us. Mattanja is a very nice lady, and I hope that her and Wesley will be very happy together as they seem to be now. We got to the Mucky Pup and found some more Fromage desertees in the form of Anne-Marie, Kevin and Sam already there. Wes and Myself challenged some jocks (Not the scottish type) to a game of pool and they were killing us before we ALMOST made one of Me and Wes's legendary comebacks on the pool table (I will be posting some of my very old blogs soon and you can read therein how Me and Wes came from Seven balls down to winning the game against two guys called Guy and Bart (The Hospital People).) But it was not to be. However, a good night it was to be. I again stayed at Alfie's and woke up to find him not there as he had gone to a classic car show. So i took the liberty of decorating his house with post-it notes, and went home for a boring boring Sunday. (By the way, on the way home I had no way of knowing the time as my phone had long since died, and I had been hoping to find somewhere I could buy Saw 3 on DVD. However when I went past Woolworths and Tesco's on the bus I found them closed. As I had no record of the time I thought it was a rainy sunday afternoon. However when I got home I discovered it to be quarter past nine in the morning!! No wonder nothing was open. So i nipped out later, got Saw 3, watched it, was nearly sick several times, then got drunk and fell asleep.)
*Phew*!!
On Friday I took Jenna out for some Tapas as it was her birthday. We originally had planned to go to Masala Zone but it was shut. I bought her Gok Wan's book "How to look good naked" as a birthday present and absent-mindedly bought her a card as well, forgetting that I had already bought her one and left it at home. We had some intersting cocktails in Cuba Libre - Jen had a Margherita which was mixed just right (It should taste slightly of petroleum) and I had one called a "Kruschev Heel" (containing Sloe gin, Southern Comfort, Vodka and Orange Juice). The girls had invited me out for a drink that night and I had already informed Billy who said he would be there. I then left for the Knight's Templar. However, when I arrived he was with John hammond...and Hugh Enright.
Hugh Enright is my enemy. He tried to get me fired twice before and has called me a thief on numerous occasions. I really can't stand the guy. Hammond was always alright with me before but in fact it was he, and not Enright, who started with me this night. When I whispered a Bernard Manning gag to Billy out of respect for Mr. Manning's passing, hammond thought I was talking about him and then accused me of "glaring" at him. I must just point out that I have never "glared" at anybody before, for I know not how. If my face appears that way, you'll have to blame my parents for "glaring" at each other whilst I was being conceived, and if I have inherited either of thier "glares" as my normal face then sue Charles Darwin for his natural selection theory. It all kicked off from there. I was so wound up afterwards I actually had to go and engage Caroline in a conversation. Billy came over and we all started talking about how long a guy should be expected to last in bed. Which was nice.
I had arranged to meet Alfie in the New Rose in Essex Road at about half 8, and from there we were going to go on the pull. I was literally so inundated with appointments that evening that it was a miracle I managed to keep them all. I had also arranged to meet LJ in the 12 Bar club later on that evening. So I planned to go and grab Alfie, have a quick pint and make our way there.
I got to the New Rose and looked everywhere for Alfie but couldn't find him, so I turned around to leave and saw him sitting at the bar. We had a quick pint there and then walked to the Camden Head. I had seen Bart (The Barman) on the night bus home the previous night, and said I would see him in there at some stage. But he wasn't there. So we drank up, got some chips and then the bus to the 12 Bar, on which we talked to two very nice Asian girls who were drinking whisky.
Got to the 12 Bar to find LJ being chatted up by some random. I said hello (eventually) and introduced her to Alfie. Don't ask me why but I got the impression she was more into Alfie than me. So I took Alfie to one side and told him if he fancied her to go for it, although looking back that was probably not a very wise move. We then went on to the Intrepid Fox - me, Alfie, LJ and her friend Stephen, who is a geography teacher. We had a few there and did a few Mighty Boosh quotes. (LJ is a big fan of the "Old Greg" Episode, so we talked a lot about Man-ginas.) Then I crashed at Alfie's and had the worst hangover I ever had in the morning.
Alfie went out and came back while I was still asleep. I woke up about quarter past two, and then we went to Angel, had some greasy chinese and a very nice juice cocktail, then I went home to briefly play some retro games and then get ready in time for Jenna's birthday celebrations down at Masala Zone. I had arranged to meet Alfie at the two white crosses. I was late but still the first one there. It was a lovely meal; myself, Alfie and all four members of ToxicSlut attended and we had a great time. Then Me and Alfie left to get Jen a joke birthday present: Two bags of flour - from the Red Dwarf episode where Lister gets two bags of flour for Kochanski (Flour, Flowers).
We went to the Albion. It was very packed but we had a GREAT turnout. When we arrived Ross was waiting at the door. We went in and the others arrived one by one. Jen herself, Lee, Jo, Spanky, Amanda, Anne-Marie, Kevin, Sam, My folks, Yvonne... and it was a decent night. Although I got harangued by a mad middle-aged woman who was shocked that I had not seen Spinal Tap and then made it her duty to give me a lecture about that fact. So I lumbered her with Alfie and went back inside. The others planned to go to Club de Fromage but myself and Alfie had already decided against it as we had had heavy ones for the past two nights. Ross also said he was skint, and would not be going. I invited him to the Mucky Pup for a nightcap with me and Alfie when the Albion closed, but he vanished. On the way there, Alfie changed his mind and decided to go to the Fromage. I was against it but decided I would tag along. But on the way Wes phoned Alfie and said he was outside Borders with his fiancee. We have all been looking forward to meeting her for ages now. So we met up with them and took them to the Mucky Pup with us. Mattanja is a very nice lady, and I hope that her and Wesley will be very happy together as they seem to be now. We got to the Mucky Pup and found some more Fromage desertees in the form of Anne-Marie, Kevin and Sam already there. Wes and Myself challenged some jocks (Not the scottish type) to a game of pool and they were killing us before we ALMOST made one of Me and Wes's legendary comebacks on the pool table (I will be posting some of my very old blogs soon and you can read therein how Me and Wes came from Seven balls down to winning the game against two guys called Guy and Bart (The Hospital People).) But it was not to be. However, a good night it was to be. I again stayed at Alfie's and woke up to find him not there as he had gone to a classic car show. So i took the liberty of decorating his house with post-it notes, and went home for a boring boring Sunday. (By the way, on the way home I had no way of knowing the time as my phone had long since died, and I had been hoping to find somewhere I could buy Saw 3 on DVD. However when I went past Woolworths and Tesco's on the bus I found them closed. As I had no record of the time I thought it was a rainy sunday afternoon. However when I got home I discovered it to be quarter past nine in the morning!! No wonder nothing was open. So i nipped out later, got Saw 3, watched it, was nearly sick several times, then got drunk and fell asleep.)
*Phew*!!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Raisin's Revenge
I went to see the fabulous Richard Herring last night. He was playing a gig at the New Globe just next to the green bridge in Mile End, which was basically a dummy run for his Edinburgh Festival set. (The gig, not the bridge.) It was as good as it promised to be and I was very entertained. However, I cannot remember a lot of the things he said although he did do the fight scene in which he tells the story of how he was in a very comical fight outside a Liverpool bar. (Which you can find posted on his blog - I'll post the link here soon). He was supported by three acts which got better and better as the night went on. Fergal, a guy who works at the same place as me, turned up, proving once again what a small world it is. I chatted to him and his mates from Sheffield for a bit before the show. Fergal seems like a cool dude. He had informed me earlier in the day that he was going to the gig and he had also been to the same venue a week previously to watch Stewart Lee.
After the show I got a chance to speak to Richard himself, and I gave him my feedback by telling him that I enjoyed his set immensely. Unable to find a way to strike up a conversation, I told him that I was thinking of starting out as a stand-up and asked his advice. (There is some truth in it - i wouldn't mind giving it a go, but i did make it out to be more of an ambition than it actually is.) Still- he very kindly gave me some advice; basically along the lines of "Write some good stuff and just go for it" and touched upon when he was starting out doing stand up and how he hated it but then later realised that it was the thing that makes you as a comedian. The second act who had been on, a guy called Toby something, was more helpful as he had not been on the circuit for too long and was sort of starting out himself. He told me about dealing with stage fright and explained the stories behind some of his material. Maybe I will try to write some. But I think Mr. Herring's job is safe.
On Saturday afternoon I went out to the west end to buy a few bits. I bought myself two t-shirts, one Pantera and one System of a Down, and a spiked bracelet which I think goes with my outfit nicely. WHilst browsing through Madhouse on Oxford Street I saw a T-Shirt which said "I haven't got Tourettes, you're just a cunt". I immediately thought of Dean and was feeling a little generous so I thought I'd buy it for him. I had a frappucino, then walked around for a while and then got the tube home.
As I entered the tube I was feeling a bit thirsty so I bought a red bull from the vendor next to Tottenham Court Road tube. That was a mistake. Frappucino and Red Bull apparently do not mix. I got home, got ready to go out and suddenly felt extremely woozy and light headed. In fact I thought I was going to be sick a few times. Me and Dean got to the Camden Head and met Alfie, then we went around the corner to a pub near Will's house called the Crown, to meet with Will and Jenna who were eating olives like a couple of sophisticated people. I felt out of place in my metal garb and sure enough, I got asked for ID by the barman who was younger than me, who had a look in his eye that made me feel about as welcome as a copy of Zoo in a convent. They also apparently did not have any guinness, so I asked the rest of the guys if they wouldn't mind going elsewhere as I felt a bit funny and didn't think I could stomach anything other than Guinness. (I hope I wasn't to much of a pain) but the place we went to, the Albion, is a very nice little pub indeed. Very respectable and in a little corner of Barnsbury that not many people frequent, and as a result it is very quiet. In fact if you close your eyes you might think that you were out in the country somewhere. I could not believe that I got in without the slightest air of suspicion from either of the two sturdy looking bouncers (Perhaps they thought I was in a band or something - apparently you do get quite a few celebrities frequenting the Albion; just the other week Will got stared at in there by Jonny Lee Miller.)
I was highly impressed with the bar staff's flaring ability. I was less impressed with my new nickname. Will and Dean were having a discussion and Will said that Dean needed a nickname. Someone suggested "Big D" and the new nickname was born. It suits him and he seemed content with it. Then I opened my big mouth and said "How come I don't get a nickname!" Which sparked a bit of a discussion during which somebody suggested "Raisin" as a take on "Raven". I'm sorry to say that it stuck. I am now known as a dried fruit that i hate. I don't just disike raisins, i actually really hate them. I don't just pick them out of pastries, I squash them as if they are little bugs. Which they are just about as welcome as in any pastry I might choose. But it sparked a bit of an identity crisis for me and that coupled with the fact that I was still suffering from a red bull and iced coffee overdose put a bit of a downer on the rest of the night. (For me anyway.)
It was still fun though, we went from there to the Mucky Pup where Jen fell in love with a postcard of a puppy standing on the pool table trying to go down one of the pockets. Somebody informed us that the dog in question was a regular and got it's name "Pocket" from doing just that. Perhaps I should have done something similar when the guys had been choosing my nickname earlier. I'd rather be known as "Pocket" than "Raisin" anyhow. (I'd probably rather be known as "Scummy Girl's Blouse" than Raisin.) Even Angus the guvnor joined in on the act, calling me "Raisin". I will have my revenge. Perhaps I will incite an army of sultanas to shrivel everyone to a shrivelled shrivel before shrivelling on to take over the world. Or maybe I'll just think of equally bad nicknames for everyone.
After the show I got a chance to speak to Richard himself, and I gave him my feedback by telling him that I enjoyed his set immensely. Unable to find a way to strike up a conversation, I told him that I was thinking of starting out as a stand-up and asked his advice. (There is some truth in it - i wouldn't mind giving it a go, but i did make it out to be more of an ambition than it actually is.) Still- he very kindly gave me some advice; basically along the lines of "Write some good stuff and just go for it" and touched upon when he was starting out doing stand up and how he hated it but then later realised that it was the thing that makes you as a comedian. The second act who had been on, a guy called Toby something, was more helpful as he had not been on the circuit for too long and was sort of starting out himself. He told me about dealing with stage fright and explained the stories behind some of his material. Maybe I will try to write some. But I think Mr. Herring's job is safe.
On Saturday afternoon I went out to the west end to buy a few bits. I bought myself two t-shirts, one Pantera and one System of a Down, and a spiked bracelet which I think goes with my outfit nicely. WHilst browsing through Madhouse on Oxford Street I saw a T-Shirt which said "I haven't got Tourettes, you're just a cunt". I immediately thought of Dean and was feeling a little generous so I thought I'd buy it for him. I had a frappucino, then walked around for a while and then got the tube home.
As I entered the tube I was feeling a bit thirsty so I bought a red bull from the vendor next to Tottenham Court Road tube. That was a mistake. Frappucino and Red Bull apparently do not mix. I got home, got ready to go out and suddenly felt extremely woozy and light headed. In fact I thought I was going to be sick a few times. Me and Dean got to the Camden Head and met Alfie, then we went around the corner to a pub near Will's house called the Crown, to meet with Will and Jenna who were eating olives like a couple of sophisticated people. I felt out of place in my metal garb and sure enough, I got asked for ID by the barman who was younger than me, who had a look in his eye that made me feel about as welcome as a copy of Zoo in a convent. They also apparently did not have any guinness, so I asked the rest of the guys if they wouldn't mind going elsewhere as I felt a bit funny and didn't think I could stomach anything other than Guinness. (I hope I wasn't to much of a pain) but the place we went to, the Albion, is a very nice little pub indeed. Very respectable and in a little corner of Barnsbury that not many people frequent, and as a result it is very quiet. In fact if you close your eyes you might think that you were out in the country somewhere. I could not believe that I got in without the slightest air of suspicion from either of the two sturdy looking bouncers (Perhaps they thought I was in a band or something - apparently you do get quite a few celebrities frequenting the Albion; just the other week Will got stared at in there by Jonny Lee Miller.)
I was highly impressed with the bar staff's flaring ability. I was less impressed with my new nickname. Will and Dean were having a discussion and Will said that Dean needed a nickname. Someone suggested "Big D" and the new nickname was born. It suits him and he seemed content with it. Then I opened my big mouth and said "How come I don't get a nickname!" Which sparked a bit of a discussion during which somebody suggested "Raisin" as a take on "Raven". I'm sorry to say that it stuck. I am now known as a dried fruit that i hate. I don't just disike raisins, i actually really hate them. I don't just pick them out of pastries, I squash them as if they are little bugs. Which they are just about as welcome as in any pastry I might choose. But it sparked a bit of an identity crisis for me and that coupled with the fact that I was still suffering from a red bull and iced coffee overdose put a bit of a downer on the rest of the night. (For me anyway.)
It was still fun though, we went from there to the Mucky Pup where Jen fell in love with a postcard of a puppy standing on the pool table trying to go down one of the pockets. Somebody informed us that the dog in question was a regular and got it's name "Pocket" from doing just that. Perhaps I should have done something similar when the guys had been choosing my nickname earlier. I'd rather be known as "Pocket" than "Raisin" anyhow. (I'd probably rather be known as "Scummy Girl's Blouse" than Raisin.) Even Angus the guvnor joined in on the act, calling me "Raisin". I will have my revenge. Perhaps I will incite an army of sultanas to shrivel everyone to a shrivelled shrivel before shrivelling on to take over the world. Or maybe I'll just think of equally bad nicknames for everyone.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
The Tale of Billy and Mandy
I went to the Knight's Templar after work to meet up with John Hall, Billy Bracegirdle and Sylvester. John Hall's mum was in hospital and he was feeling a bit down so I said i'd go and have a few drinks with him. I had spoken to Billy around lunchtime and he told me he had changed his mind and was going home after work, but when I got to the pub I found him sitting there on his own with two pints. I told him i'd be back in a minute and went to meet John Hall outside Carey Street. He was not there so i went into the high court, down to the main entrance and asked Peter Vale on the front if he had seen John, and it turned out i just missed him. I ran around the building and cut up bell yard and caught up with him and then we joined Will in the pub.
Sylvester came down about 10 minutes afterwards. It was good to see him. John had planned to take Sylvester to the Griffin (A strip joint) for the first time. Yvonne (Billy's Ex) came in and Billy had to move seats so she would not be in his eyeline. They broke up about four months ago and i know that Billy is still quite hurt. He explained that he just didn't want to see any guys talking to Yvonne because he might lose his temper. I suppose that's understandable but I did explain to him that Yvonne has more respect for him than that. I was still undecided as to what I would do afterwards. John invited me along to the Griffin with him and Sylvester, but i declined the invitation as it's not really my kind of thing. (Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against looking at naked women, but i don't like the sleazy connotation or the clientele who frequent the griffin.) I was hoping to go to the 12 bar club for LJ's gig but Will pulled out during the week and i didn't like the idea of going on my own. I had been speaking to my friend Amanda and suggested going for a drink with her, which she seemed up for. I told her I would meet her at Camden tube at 8. I was working on Billy to get him to come with us. John suggested going to the Penderel's Oak for a quick one as it was on the way to both Holborn tube and the Griffin. I recited the story of how we went there last week and they would not serve Robert, and how I was boycotting the place, but I'm ashamed to say that 10 minutes later I was in the Penderel's Oak. :-(
We only stayed for one because John didn't like the new layout. He said it was too "clubby". So we left the old perverts to the Griffin and Billy decided to tag along with me and come to meet Amanda. I was dreading the two of them meeting particularly if Billy was a lot more drunk than he let on and would be misbehaving. (Billy in a nutshell: He's got a heart of gold but he's a very pessimistic person a bit like I used to be. He appears to always be depressed but I get the impression that he is either just seeking attention or basically enjoys feeling like that. When he gets drunk he becomes a bit hyper like that tourettes guy who won big brother, but without the swearing.) But it actually went really well!! I haven't seen Amanda for ages - I started speaking to her online and we decided to go for a mexican. That was four years ago. We speak online often but haven't seen each other since. Just recently I get the impression that she was a bit down as she had a lot of things going on especially a bit of bloke trouble and the fact that she had realised that she was different from her peers. So I suggested giving her a change of scenery and that she should come out with us. However, Billy was not the introduction I had in mind.
It actually went okay. Billy was behaving himself and started to liven up a bit. When we got to Quinns I got a round in and went back to join this unlikely threesome. They were already chatting away. They seemed to get on like a house on fire! They compared IPods and discovered they had very similar tastes in music. Mandy's collection featured all the "modern" bands that everyone is listening to but i can't stand (Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, etc) and Billy's was more or less the same but more geared towards my tastes. (My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy and even a bit of Killswitch Engage.) However, they found a lot of similarities. At some points in the evening they had forgotten I was even there and I had to resort to watching "Britain's Got Talent" on the telly and seeing the unbelievably charming and extremely talented Bessie Curzons get through to the final. I couldn't get a word in edgeways!!
We then went to the Elephant's Head just around the corner. The place had a teddy boy feel to it and was playing all that fifties music that brought to mind images of combs with flick knives in them and guys driving cadillacs on the "Wrong side of the Tracks". There were some Hungarian 50's throwbacks in there with great tattoos. Mandy had to push off as she was getting up for work early the next day, and her mum came and picked her up. I walked her to the car then went back to join Billy and have one for the road. He started to get a little down from this point onwards, and became paranoid because he thought we were in a gay pub. (He needs to work on these insecurities, they will be his downfall). I assured him that if it was a gay pub i didn't know, and then ushered him in the direction of the tube, stopping to get a delicious steak sandwich on the way, and then caught the last train home.
This morning I was woken up by bible bashers. The dicks. They tried to give me a leaflet with a picture of a girl stroking a lion on the front. There was something wrong about the whole thing. I asked why doesn't god get rid of all the chavs. They didn't know. They then tried to talk to me about jesus but I threatened them with a slap and they left. I have just recieved the following text from Billy:
"I no i sound like im a wanker but when ya see amanda next can ya ask if i can have her number. Even as mates. Thanx for tonite my friend."
I wonder...
Sylvester came down about 10 minutes afterwards. It was good to see him. John had planned to take Sylvester to the Griffin (A strip joint) for the first time. Yvonne (Billy's Ex) came in and Billy had to move seats so she would not be in his eyeline. They broke up about four months ago and i know that Billy is still quite hurt. He explained that he just didn't want to see any guys talking to Yvonne because he might lose his temper. I suppose that's understandable but I did explain to him that Yvonne has more respect for him than that. I was still undecided as to what I would do afterwards. John invited me along to the Griffin with him and Sylvester, but i declined the invitation as it's not really my kind of thing. (Don't get me wrong, i have nothing against looking at naked women, but i don't like the sleazy connotation or the clientele who frequent the griffin.) I was hoping to go to the 12 bar club for LJ's gig but Will pulled out during the week and i didn't like the idea of going on my own. I had been speaking to my friend Amanda and suggested going for a drink with her, which she seemed up for. I told her I would meet her at Camden tube at 8. I was working on Billy to get him to come with us. John suggested going to the Penderel's Oak for a quick one as it was on the way to both Holborn tube and the Griffin. I recited the story of how we went there last week and they would not serve Robert, and how I was boycotting the place, but I'm ashamed to say that 10 minutes later I was in the Penderel's Oak. :-(
We only stayed for one because John didn't like the new layout. He said it was too "clubby". So we left the old perverts to the Griffin and Billy decided to tag along with me and come to meet Amanda. I was dreading the two of them meeting particularly if Billy was a lot more drunk than he let on and would be misbehaving. (Billy in a nutshell: He's got a heart of gold but he's a very pessimistic person a bit like I used to be. He appears to always be depressed but I get the impression that he is either just seeking attention or basically enjoys feeling like that. When he gets drunk he becomes a bit hyper like that tourettes guy who won big brother, but without the swearing.) But it actually went really well!! I haven't seen Amanda for ages - I started speaking to her online and we decided to go for a mexican. That was four years ago. We speak online often but haven't seen each other since. Just recently I get the impression that she was a bit down as she had a lot of things going on especially a bit of bloke trouble and the fact that she had realised that she was different from her peers. So I suggested giving her a change of scenery and that she should come out with us. However, Billy was not the introduction I had in mind.
It actually went okay. Billy was behaving himself and started to liven up a bit. When we got to Quinns I got a round in and went back to join this unlikely threesome. They were already chatting away. They seemed to get on like a house on fire! They compared IPods and discovered they had very similar tastes in music. Mandy's collection featured all the "modern" bands that everyone is listening to but i can't stand (Franz Ferdinand, The Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, etc) and Billy's was more or less the same but more geared towards my tastes. (My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy and even a bit of Killswitch Engage.) However, they found a lot of similarities. At some points in the evening they had forgotten I was even there and I had to resort to watching "Britain's Got Talent" on the telly and seeing the unbelievably charming and extremely talented Bessie Curzons get through to the final. I couldn't get a word in edgeways!!
We then went to the Elephant's Head just around the corner. The place had a teddy boy feel to it and was playing all that fifties music that brought to mind images of combs with flick knives in them and guys driving cadillacs on the "Wrong side of the Tracks". There were some Hungarian 50's throwbacks in there with great tattoos. Mandy had to push off as she was getting up for work early the next day, and her mum came and picked her up. I walked her to the car then went back to join Billy and have one for the road. He started to get a little down from this point onwards, and became paranoid because he thought we were in a gay pub. (He needs to work on these insecurities, they will be his downfall). I assured him that if it was a gay pub i didn't know, and then ushered him in the direction of the tube, stopping to get a delicious steak sandwich on the way, and then caught the last train home.
This morning I was woken up by bible bashers. The dicks. They tried to give me a leaflet with a picture of a girl stroking a lion on the front. There was something wrong about the whole thing. I asked why doesn't god get rid of all the chavs. They didn't know. They then tried to talk to me about jesus but I threatened them with a slap and they left. I have just recieved the following text from Billy:
"I no i sound like im a wanker but when ya see amanda next can ya ask if i can have her number. Even as mates. Thanx for tonite my friend."
I wonder...
Saturday, June 09, 2007
Ringmuskels
Met up with the Swedes again last night. Mikael rang me and asked if i want to meet him in the Penderel's Oak. So i grabbed Dean and took the tube down to Chancery Lane.
As we got there, Robert was waiting on the door with a guy called Gareth who I hadn't met. He turned out to be from York but partly Welsh. Mikael soon made his appearance and it turned out we had a bit of a situation - Robert was not being allowed in. Apparently the barman downstairs refused to believe he was over 18 (Despite him actually being 26 and having laughter lines) and asked him to leave as he did not have any ID on him. We went in downstairs but they would not serve any of us because they thought we would solicit alcohol to a minor (i.e. Robert). Kristof and his girlfriend were in there - we said hi to them and then Robert asked to speak to the manager, a big butch woman who would not have looked out of place in a concentration camp. Eventually we realised that they obviously did not want our custom and thought "Fuck this" and decided to go on a pub crawl instead. I won't be returning there any time soon.
We walked to the Intrepid Fox. Along the way Gareth learned the Swedish word for Sphincter (Ringmuskel, apparently) and repeated it 89 times throughout the evening. We had one in the Intrepid Fox and then moved on to the Royal George and another pub but deciding not to stop in either, and eventually ending up in the Marquess of Granby at the convergence of Charing Cross Road and Shaftesbury Avenue. Gareth is a top guy - we told a few jokes and things and wound up Mikael by calling him a Ringmuskel all evening. Then Gareth decided he wanted to chat up a nearby blond. We had seen four guys already try and fail, but Gareth seemed to crack it. The last bell then went and the pub chucked us out, and we went our separate ways. Gareth went off with the blond and her friend, Mikael and Robert went to meet a friend of thiers who had just arrived from Sweden, and Me and Dean went back to the Intrepid Fox.
I met a girl in there who was a DJ called LJ. She was gorgeous!! She informed me that she was playing a set soon at the 12 bar club i think; by this point I was slightly blitzed. I had a drink with her and her two friends whose names i can't remember but they seemed a laugh - and LJ gave me her card with the link to her MySpace (www.myspace.com/ljaym). I was able to steal a quick peck off of her before me and Dean hit the road. We got some grub from the Syrian kebab house opposite the Light Bar in Liverpool Street and headed for home. Looks like i'll be down the 12 bar club on the 15th!!
My folks are away to Newbury races today. They are staying the night which means I have the house to myself all day. I wonder how much havoc I can cause in 24 hours?
As we got there, Robert was waiting on the door with a guy called Gareth who I hadn't met. He turned out to be from York but partly Welsh. Mikael soon made his appearance and it turned out we had a bit of a situation - Robert was not being allowed in. Apparently the barman downstairs refused to believe he was over 18 (Despite him actually being 26 and having laughter lines) and asked him to leave as he did not have any ID on him. We went in downstairs but they would not serve any of us because they thought we would solicit alcohol to a minor (i.e. Robert). Kristof and his girlfriend were in there - we said hi to them and then Robert asked to speak to the manager, a big butch woman who would not have looked out of place in a concentration camp. Eventually we realised that they obviously did not want our custom and thought "Fuck this" and decided to go on a pub crawl instead. I won't be returning there any time soon.
We walked to the Intrepid Fox. Along the way Gareth learned the Swedish word for Sphincter (Ringmuskel, apparently) and repeated it 89 times throughout the evening. We had one in the Intrepid Fox and then moved on to the Royal George and another pub but deciding not to stop in either, and eventually ending up in the Marquess of Granby at the convergence of Charing Cross Road and Shaftesbury Avenue. Gareth is a top guy - we told a few jokes and things and wound up Mikael by calling him a Ringmuskel all evening. Then Gareth decided he wanted to chat up a nearby blond. We had seen four guys already try and fail, but Gareth seemed to crack it. The last bell then went and the pub chucked us out, and we went our separate ways. Gareth went off with the blond and her friend, Mikael and Robert went to meet a friend of thiers who had just arrived from Sweden, and Me and Dean went back to the Intrepid Fox.
I met a girl in there who was a DJ called LJ. She was gorgeous!! She informed me that she was playing a set soon at the 12 bar club i think; by this point I was slightly blitzed. I had a drink with her and her two friends whose names i can't remember but they seemed a laugh - and LJ gave me her card with the link to her MySpace (www.myspace.com/ljaym). I was able to steal a quick peck off of her before me and Dean hit the road. We got some grub from the Syrian kebab house opposite the Light Bar in Liverpool Street and headed for home. Looks like i'll be down the 12 bar club on the 15th!!
My folks are away to Newbury races today. They are staying the night which means I have the house to myself all day. I wonder how much havoc I can cause in 24 hours?
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Sweden Sour
It is Sunday and I am sitting in my house after just losing 8-5 to Dean at pool. He was winning 7-1 at one point, so I'd say i was able to salvage some pride at least. My mum and stepdad have gone to visit my stepdad's sister who has just moved house. So I am in the house all on my own.
I got a text in the week from the girls i used to work with, saying that they were going out on Friday and inviting me to come along. I decided to go as I had nothing else planned. So i got the tube over to Temple and walked the short distance to the Knight's Templar just behind the High Court. I arrived a bit early as the girls were not there, so I decided to walk up Carey Street and see if I would see them on thier way out. As I did I ran into John Hall, John Hughes and Richard Bracegirdle. Apparently Alex (Another of the RCJ security guards) was leaving that day and they were supposed to be going to the Blue Anchor for his leaving party. I had a brief chat with them and then I went back to the pub. John Hall tagged along and bought me a couple of beers and then left just as the girls arrived. Billy and John Bracegirdle were in there as well, along with Phil Cosgrove the union guy who helped me out when I almost lost my job before.
Caroline turned up with Angela, her friend who works at the RCJ. Caroline actually looked quite nice for a change. We had a few drinks and then went on to the function room above some poncy wine bar round the corner where it was somebody else's leaving party. All the receptionists were there and a few security guys as well. Sherrina got absolutely steaming drunk and started flirting with the DJ. She then smashed a glass and then made a spectacle of herself by dancing in a maniacal fashion in front of everybody. Kerry was her usual reserved self. I had my tie stolen by Tammy Jeffs and then used to mop up some beer, which I thought was considerate. Some elderly ladies wanted me to dance with them. I explained that I have about as much rhythm as a parsnip. As I left, Richard, John B, Billy and John Hughes were all just finishing thier night shift and were waiting for a cab to go home. I said hi to them and then got a bus to Liverpool Street, where I bought a delicious kebab from the Syrian kebab house opposite the Light Bar and then made my way home.
On Saturday I went to tescos to get something for my dinner, andstopped in Cash Converters on the way, where i managed to pick up the Peter Kay live at Bolton Town Hall DVD for 3 quid. Bargain. (Well, until i got it home and realised that it jumps like a flea on amphetamines and goes all blurry every now and again.) Nobody was up for doing anything - Will was in Cambridge at a strawberry fair, Jen was at her sister's wedding, Dean was skint and Alfie seemed to have vanished without a trace. However, Mikael phoned me up at the last minute and invited me to his friend's birthday party at a bar called The Big Chill in Pentonville Road. I decided to go along. Although I had to pay five pounds to get in, I was immediately plied with alcohol by Malin, Mikael's girlfriend. She bought me a pint of guinness and gave me two glasses of champagne, so i was £3.50 up before i'd even put my hand in my pocket. All of the Swedish contingent were there; Bjorn, Robert, Kristof, some guy called Simon and of course Mikael and Malin. Some girls started chatting to me - an italian girl called Gabriella, and a half-polish, half-malaysian girl called Lorraine. At the end of the night Malin fell asleep on the sofas and was asked to leave by the bouncers, so we all decided to call it a night. (This was at about half past three.) On the way to the bus stop Gabriella insisted that i take Lorraine's number, which I did because i was drunk, tired and hungry and thought it would get rid of them quicker. So i got the bus down to Angel, got a wrap from Dixie Chicken, and then made my way home via the 38 and then the 106.
I got a text in the week from the girls i used to work with, saying that they were going out on Friday and inviting me to come along. I decided to go as I had nothing else planned. So i got the tube over to Temple and walked the short distance to the Knight's Templar just behind the High Court. I arrived a bit early as the girls were not there, so I decided to walk up Carey Street and see if I would see them on thier way out. As I did I ran into John Hall, John Hughes and Richard Bracegirdle. Apparently Alex (Another of the RCJ security guards) was leaving that day and they were supposed to be going to the Blue Anchor for his leaving party. I had a brief chat with them and then I went back to the pub. John Hall tagged along and bought me a couple of beers and then left just as the girls arrived. Billy and John Bracegirdle were in there as well, along with Phil Cosgrove the union guy who helped me out when I almost lost my job before.
Caroline turned up with Angela, her friend who works at the RCJ. Caroline actually looked quite nice for a change. We had a few drinks and then went on to the function room above some poncy wine bar round the corner where it was somebody else's leaving party. All the receptionists were there and a few security guys as well. Sherrina got absolutely steaming drunk and started flirting with the DJ. She then smashed a glass and then made a spectacle of herself by dancing in a maniacal fashion in front of everybody. Kerry was her usual reserved self. I had my tie stolen by Tammy Jeffs and then used to mop up some beer, which I thought was considerate. Some elderly ladies wanted me to dance with them. I explained that I have about as much rhythm as a parsnip. As I left, Richard, John B, Billy and John Hughes were all just finishing thier night shift and were waiting for a cab to go home. I said hi to them and then got a bus to Liverpool Street, where I bought a delicious kebab from the Syrian kebab house opposite the Light Bar and then made my way home.
On Saturday I went to tescos to get something for my dinner, andstopped in Cash Converters on the way, where i managed to pick up the Peter Kay live at Bolton Town Hall DVD for 3 quid. Bargain. (Well, until i got it home and realised that it jumps like a flea on amphetamines and goes all blurry every now and again.) Nobody was up for doing anything - Will was in Cambridge at a strawberry fair, Jen was at her sister's wedding, Dean was skint and Alfie seemed to have vanished without a trace. However, Mikael phoned me up at the last minute and invited me to his friend's birthday party at a bar called The Big Chill in Pentonville Road. I decided to go along. Although I had to pay five pounds to get in, I was immediately plied with alcohol by Malin, Mikael's girlfriend. She bought me a pint of guinness and gave me two glasses of champagne, so i was £3.50 up before i'd even put my hand in my pocket. All of the Swedish contingent were there; Bjorn, Robert, Kristof, some guy called Simon and of course Mikael and Malin. Some girls started chatting to me - an italian girl called Gabriella, and a half-polish, half-malaysian girl called Lorraine. At the end of the night Malin fell asleep on the sofas and was asked to leave by the bouncers, so we all decided to call it a night. (This was at about half past three.) On the way to the bus stop Gabriella insisted that i take Lorraine's number, which I did because i was drunk, tired and hungry and thought it would get rid of them quicker. So i got the bus down to Angel, got a wrap from Dixie Chicken, and then made my way home via the 38 and then the 106.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Big Brother is Watching...and so am I!
I absolutely played my socks off at football tonight. One of the best games I have ever played if i do say so myself. I scored the first goal of the match, then went on to score three more including one that left Kev and Les looking like a right pair of lemons.
I have not been up to much since my last blog post; been settling into my new job and stuff. I get paid tomorrow so i plan a big weekend of drinking, shopping in camden and more drinking.
I have started to eat a lot healthier lately. I now eat an apple a day (keeps the medical practitioner out of close proximity, or so i've heard - but then again, is it not good to have a doctor nearby at all times, just in case you suddenly get a hernea when lifting some lever arch files or something?) I have also started to eat sunflower seeds, melons, bananas, and grapes, and drink clementine juice for breakfast and usually have a houmous and falafel wrap for lunch. (Incidentally, the girl who comes around our workplace every lunchtime and sells sandwiches is a bit of alright; she's Slovakian, so I have been on the internet and learned a few phrases ("Kolko to Stoji, nerozumiem po Slovensky"!) in an attempt to try and impress her. She seems the shy type, but i reckon with a bit of work she could maybe start to open up a bit. (As it were.).
Anyway, enough about my lovelife and eating habits - i watched the first show of Big Brother yesterday and was delighted to say I was one step ahead of my mum (who is a big fan of the show) - as I had heard a rumor that it would be an all-female household with just one male housemate. Not that it bothers me particularly - i only ever watch the first show just to see what a cross-section of our society they have decided to put in this year, this bunch of Ancient Greeks who supposedly accurately represent the rest of us. You might think...11 women and one guy - heaven on earth!! But you should see some of them. A couple look like they have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. I will be perfectly honest. I HATE THE FUCKING SHOW. I have never voted and probably never will; and like I said, i only ever watch the first episode just to see who goes in in the hope that they might actually put someone interesting in there as opposed to the never-ending line of posh-spice wannabees and transsexual posers they usually put in. I think they should put a few goths in, personally; it would keep the other housemates in check.
OK i shouldnt do this but i'm gonna quickly give you my opinions on the housemates. This is the order i put them in in order of preference:
1.) Lesley. Strange choice, I hear you say. But I will try to explain. Although she reminds me of a headmistress, i liked her from the moment I saw her as she just did not care and came across as having no time for idiots. Which I like. Sure to cause rifts in the house and keep the others on thier toes - and she came in right after the twins and it was brilliant to see thier faces when they were expecting some hunky guy to come walking in and instead they got thier worst nightmare! Well done, love!! Good luck to you!
2.) Emily. On paper, she should be number one because she is easily the best looking in the house. And she's got the best taste in music. And she's an intelligent girl. Heck, on paper she's my dream partner. However, i don't think she's a true rock chick. Would a true rock chick spend four grand on her teeth? No, a true rock chick would crack them whilst opening a bottle of beer and replace them with Mick Jagger's kidney stones. Or something.
3.) Carole. Funny, and reminds me of a friend of mine. (Vera). and she's a local girl, so you gotta keep the flag flying for East London!
4.) Shabzam. (Sorry if i spelled the name wrong - the first word that comes to mind is "Spirited". But i do get the impression that she could get annoying after a while.
5.) Tracey. The "Cheesy Quaver". Wierd, zany, funny-looking, but absolutely mental. Bit of a strange one i must admit; i am actually writing this list from bottom to top and was going to start with Tracey at no.10, but as I was writing it i realised how much i hated the other 5 contestants.
6.) Nikki. Did not really get anything from you. Sorry.
7.) Laura. I know she's probably a nice girl, but she reminds me too much of one of my aunts who is a bit of a tart. (Sorry Laura, i know i'm being a bit shallow there. Maybe you'll prove me wrong and i'll grow to love you. But i doubt it.) - Agree with you on the anti-smoking though.
8.) Chanelle. You are not Victoria Beckham. Without the sunglasses you look like the bird from the playstation advert.
9.) The Twins. Irritating bollock suckers. (I used to have a thing for twins but i have been permanently put off.
10.) Charlie. Would you even be on the show if you were not Keiran Richardson's cousin? Nice body, but from the shoulders upwards lets you down big time.
So there you have it. Not that I care that much about Big Brother, but for those of you that do, now you have my very much sought-after viewpoint on the Z-list stars of tomorrow.
I have not been up to much since my last blog post; been settling into my new job and stuff. I get paid tomorrow so i plan a big weekend of drinking, shopping in camden and more drinking.
I have started to eat a lot healthier lately. I now eat an apple a day (keeps the medical practitioner out of close proximity, or so i've heard - but then again, is it not good to have a doctor nearby at all times, just in case you suddenly get a hernea when lifting some lever arch files or something?) I have also started to eat sunflower seeds, melons, bananas, and grapes, and drink clementine juice for breakfast and usually have a houmous and falafel wrap for lunch. (Incidentally, the girl who comes around our workplace every lunchtime and sells sandwiches is a bit of alright; she's Slovakian, so I have been on the internet and learned a few phrases ("Kolko to Stoji, nerozumiem po Slovensky"!) in an attempt to try and impress her. She seems the shy type, but i reckon with a bit of work she could maybe start to open up a bit. (As it were.).
Anyway, enough about my lovelife and eating habits - i watched the first show of Big Brother yesterday and was delighted to say I was one step ahead of my mum (who is a big fan of the show) - as I had heard a rumor that it would be an all-female household with just one male housemate. Not that it bothers me particularly - i only ever watch the first show just to see what a cross-section of our society they have decided to put in this year, this bunch of Ancient Greeks who supposedly accurately represent the rest of us. You might think...11 women and one guy - heaven on earth!! But you should see some of them. A couple look like they have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. I will be perfectly honest. I HATE THE FUCKING SHOW. I have never voted and probably never will; and like I said, i only ever watch the first episode just to see who goes in in the hope that they might actually put someone interesting in there as opposed to the never-ending line of posh-spice wannabees and transsexual posers they usually put in. I think they should put a few goths in, personally; it would keep the other housemates in check.
OK i shouldnt do this but i'm gonna quickly give you my opinions on the housemates. This is the order i put them in in order of preference:
1.) Lesley. Strange choice, I hear you say. But I will try to explain. Although she reminds me of a headmistress, i liked her from the moment I saw her as she just did not care and came across as having no time for idiots. Which I like. Sure to cause rifts in the house and keep the others on thier toes - and she came in right after the twins and it was brilliant to see thier faces when they were expecting some hunky guy to come walking in and instead they got thier worst nightmare! Well done, love!! Good luck to you!
2.) Emily. On paper, she should be number one because she is easily the best looking in the house. And she's got the best taste in music. And she's an intelligent girl. Heck, on paper she's my dream partner. However, i don't think she's a true rock chick. Would a true rock chick spend four grand on her teeth? No, a true rock chick would crack them whilst opening a bottle of beer and replace them with Mick Jagger's kidney stones. Or something.
3.) Carole. Funny, and reminds me of a friend of mine. (Vera). and she's a local girl, so you gotta keep the flag flying for East London!
4.) Shabzam. (Sorry if i spelled the name wrong - the first word that comes to mind is "Spirited". But i do get the impression that she could get annoying after a while.
5.) Tracey. The "Cheesy Quaver". Wierd, zany, funny-looking, but absolutely mental. Bit of a strange one i must admit; i am actually writing this list from bottom to top and was going to start with Tracey at no.10, but as I was writing it i realised how much i hated the other 5 contestants.
6.) Nikki. Did not really get anything from you. Sorry.
7.) Laura. I know she's probably a nice girl, but she reminds me too much of one of my aunts who is a bit of a tart. (Sorry Laura, i know i'm being a bit shallow there. Maybe you'll prove me wrong and i'll grow to love you. But i doubt it.) - Agree with you on the anti-smoking though.
8.) Chanelle. You are not Victoria Beckham. Without the sunglasses you look like the bird from the playstation advert.
9.) The Twins. Irritating bollock suckers. (I used to have a thing for twins but i have been permanently put off.
10.) Charlie. Would you even be on the show if you were not Keiran Richardson's cousin? Nice body, but from the shoulders upwards lets you down big time.
So there you have it. Not that I care that much about Big Brother, but for those of you that do, now you have my very much sought-after viewpoint on the Z-list stars of tomorrow.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Bank Holiday Boozing
Went to Quinn's friday night with Dean and Adrian. Quinns is probably the best pub in London, with a wide selection of Belgian and German beers, however we came on a bad night because the fridge had packed up so all the beers were at room temperature. Not that it stopped me drinking about eight bottles of some lethally strong belgian beer called Gavroche. Adrian was his usual self. He has mentioned putting in a word for Dean at his place of work. (FADS decorating shop in Walworth Road) . Jenna came down with Ross and some of his friends - they had been to a ceilidh. (That's a Gaelic folk dance). We got a bus back to hackney central and then put Adrian on a 55 - all the while doing impressions of the Glaswegian drug rehab guy from little britain.
On Saturday I went to Barking in the afternoon with my folks - my stepdad wants to buy an even bigger TV for the living room. (i have explained to him that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the one we already have, but it's his money to waste if he wants. At least it means I might get the old one in my room!!) Went shopping after that and came home. I tried to ring around and raise a posse for a night on the town but only Dean said he was up for it. We went to the Ben Crouch and then on to the Intrepid Fox - fast becoming a saturday routine. It was fun, but uneventful at the same time. Still better than spending a night in front of the TV watching american idol or something. I don't know why my stepdad wants a TV when the programmes are all so shit!!
I have to wrap up now as i have a few household jobs to do. My room looks like the aftermath of a wrestling match between Wayne and Chris Moyles.
On Saturday I went to Barking in the afternoon with my folks - my stepdad wants to buy an even bigger TV for the living room. (i have explained to him that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the one we already have, but it's his money to waste if he wants. At least it means I might get the old one in my room!!) Went shopping after that and came home. I tried to ring around and raise a posse for a night on the town but only Dean said he was up for it. We went to the Ben Crouch and then on to the Intrepid Fox - fast becoming a saturday routine. It was fun, but uneventful at the same time. Still better than spending a night in front of the TV watching american idol or something. I don't know why my stepdad wants a TV when the programmes are all so shit!!
I have to wrap up now as i have a few household jobs to do. My room looks like the aftermath of a wrestling match between Wayne and Chris Moyles.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Offside, Ref!
I have got a job.
My agency phoned me on Tuesday Afternoon as I was coming back from Tesco's and informed me that they had passed my details onto a company in south london and that they wanted me to start the very next day. Of course, I accepted the offer; looking on the website it seemed like Peckham would be quite difficult to get to without using the dreaded tube. There were a couple of bus routes which went there but it would mean changing at either Aldgate or Liverpool Street and going a bit out of my way. I decided to get the tube to Oval for the first day and see how it went; at least I would be able to ask around about bus routes when I got there. But I was too busy getting ready for Alfie's gig to worry too much about getting there. The gig went okay although there were not as many people as the first time. I actually thought Alfie played better, which was a shame as there were less people there to witness it. In fact, the entire audience consisted of friends of Alfie. Myself, Dean, Will, Wes, Jenna, Zoe and her friend turned up, along with my mum, stepdad and my mum's friend Neil. I was surprised that Russell (My Stepdad) turned up; it is not really his scene at all but he seemed to enjoy himself.
First day of work went fine. I like the place, people are all friendly and the job is not too demanding. But i don't like the area too much or the travelling. Central Line in the mornings is an absolute nightmare; luckily I only have to endure it for two stops. Northern line from Bank to Oval is actually okay; you are more or less guaranteed a seat as there are not many others on the train. Door to door takes about 25 - 30 minutes to get from my house to Oval. Then there is the bus ride which is full of chavs and high-school dickheads. This only takes about 12 minutes then there is a 5 minute walk to St. Giles Hospital, where I work.
Last night I went to Offside Bar on City Road - which as you can tell by the name is a very football-orientated bar. I
met up with Mikael the Swedish Boris Johnson lookalike (pictured) and his chums to watch Liverpool lose the champions league final. It was quite good although I only had enough for three pints. It was very hot in there and I had the idea of passing round these flyers that were next to the toilets for our group to use as fans. Mikael, being a Liverpool fan, was obviously gutted about the result but he took it rather well. I remember this time last year I was absolutely gutted when my beloved Arsenal lost to those Barcelona Bastards and was practically in tears on the streets of Cork. But i guess he would have been the same if Liverpool hadn't won the Champion's league two years before. Anyway, I am writing this on my lunch break which has just finished, so I better get back to work.
Peace out.
My agency phoned me on Tuesday Afternoon as I was coming back from Tesco's and informed me that they had passed my details onto a company in south london and that they wanted me to start the very next day. Of course, I accepted the offer; looking on the website it seemed like Peckham would be quite difficult to get to without using the dreaded tube. There were a couple of bus routes which went there but it would mean changing at either Aldgate or Liverpool Street and going a bit out of my way. I decided to get the tube to Oval for the first day and see how it went; at least I would be able to ask around about bus routes when I got there. But I was too busy getting ready for Alfie's gig to worry too much about getting there. The gig went okay although there were not as many people as the first time. I actually thought Alfie played better, which was a shame as there were less people there to witness it. In fact, the entire audience consisted of friends of Alfie. Myself, Dean, Will, Wes, Jenna, Zoe and her friend turned up, along with my mum, stepdad and my mum's friend Neil. I was surprised that Russell (My Stepdad) turned up; it is not really his scene at all but he seemed to enjoy himself.
First day of work went fine. I like the place, people are all friendly and the job is not too demanding. But i don't like the area too much or the travelling. Central Line in the mornings is an absolute nightmare; luckily I only have to endure it for two stops. Northern line from Bank to Oval is actually okay; you are more or less guaranteed a seat as there are not many others on the train. Door to door takes about 25 - 30 minutes to get from my house to Oval. Then there is the bus ride which is full of chavs and high-school dickheads. This only takes about 12 minutes then there is a 5 minute walk to St. Giles Hospital, where I work.
Last night I went to Offside Bar on City Road - which as you can tell by the name is a very football-orientated bar. I
met up with Mikael the Swedish Boris Johnson lookalike (pictured) and his chums to watch Liverpool lose the champions league final. It was quite good although I only had enough for three pints. It was very hot in there and I had the idea of passing round these flyers that were next to the toilets for our group to use as fans. Mikael, being a Liverpool fan, was obviously gutted about the result but he took it rather well. I remember this time last year I was absolutely gutted when my beloved Arsenal lost to those Barcelona Bastards and was practically in tears on the streets of Cork. But i guess he would have been the same if Liverpool hadn't won the Champion's league two years before. Anyway, I am writing this on my lunch break which has just finished, so I better get back to work.Peace out.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Hard-Rock Havoc and Heavy Metal Hellraising
Last night we took in two of London's best heavy metal venues: The Ben Crouch Tavern and The New Intrepid Fox. It was a great night. I was lucky I was able to go out at all as I was completely knackered from the previous night. I went out to Kenrick's bar on Essex Road Friday night with Jen and Alfie. They had karaoke on and I entertained the masses with my renditions of Deep Purple's "Black Night" and "Don't let me be misunderstood" by the Animals. Alfie belted out "Love is the Drug" and Joy Division's "Love will tear us apart", and Jen fulfilled a karaoke ambition by performing "Seven Seas of Rhye" - a song we had not previously found, and also did a brilliant version of T-Rex's "Twentieth Century Boy". Me and Alfie have an ongoing debate: T-Rex vs. The Sweet. Alfie is a big fan of The Sweet whereas I lean more towards T-Rex. Personally I think T-Rex piss all over The Sweet.
It was not a bad night although we kept being bothered by some old biddies who probably thought they were in the post office. To make them go away we had to shout "Cashier Number One, Please!" at regular intervals. We also got followed outside the pub by a drunken Italian man who wanted to share a taxi with us, even though we pointed out that Alfie's flat was two streets away. He kept talking to Jen and would not go away so we had to tell him to fuck off several times. Alfie went to get a kebab and as we were waiting outside for him the dickhead came up to us again and started to get all aggressive. However we were saved from confrontation by a very kind gentleman and the Italian guy walked away; and so did the peacemaker before we had a chance to thank him. Alfie returned from the kebab shop and invited us all back to his flat. the Italian AGAIN tried to bother us, but in the end we just couldn't be asked and ended up briskly walking away in the direction of Alfie's. As we turned the corner to Alfie's street we ran into the guy who'd helped us out and thanked him for his help. Then we spent the rest of the evening watching old bottom videos.
Woke up at Alfie's; had a nice breakfast of toast, ketchup and a double decker, and then went with Alfie and Jen to Angel as Alfie was due to meet up with his friend Ella. We had a few drinks in the Camden Head and then Alfie went off; me and Jen had a brief wander round the textile / antique shops and the French market, then I headed off home, hoping to have a few hour's kip before going to the Ben Crouch as arranged for Amelia's birthday, but no such luck. My mum sent me out to Tescos as soon as I'd got in, all because she was too busy watching the cup final and couldn't be bothered to go. Eventually got back, had something to eat and then got ready to go out. Arrived at the Ben Crouch to find Alfie already there - He had been drinking the whole way through. Lee was also there, and of course Amelia, who had hired out an entire section of the Ben Crouch. I wished her happy birthday and in return she covered me in little heart-shaped stickers. Alfie got talking to this absolutely GORGEOUS blond called Alex - I was quite jealous. The Jammy bugger. Apparently Lee had got off with her in the past and I noticed he seemed more than a little interested too. However, fate has a way of kicking you in the bollocks. I discovered she hated everything i stand for; Led Zeppelin, Heavy metal in general and football, and loved The Kinks and The League of Gentlemen - two of the most important things in Alfie's life. I left them to it and Jen and Will turned up with my accessories that I had left at Jen's flat a few weeks ago. Last orders was called and everyone else went off to some club to celebrate the remainder of Amelia's birthday, and me and Dean decided to walk to the Intrepid Fox.
Dean stopped off to get some chips from McDonalds and we eventually got to the Fox around midnight - surprised to find Alfie, Jen and Will already there. Apparently they had gone to the club but decided that the queue was too long, and made their way here instead. Apparently the blond went off with Lee. Met some guys in there from a band called Ad Alta (www.myspace.com/adalta) including one guy called Jonny who had the most amazing tattoos - ALL FOUR Led Zeppelin symbols on his right arm and a work in process on his left - the famous monk graphic from the Stairway to Heaven artwork. Showed him my Jimmy Page tattoo:
and had a bit of a chat. His friend Gaz whose birthday it was also had a Zeppelin tattoo - the swan song logo above his elbow. Drunk a lot of guinness and then headed home with Dean as he was feeling tired. By that point I had gone past tiredness. Got the Number 8 back to Bethnal Green and had to endure come college boys being drunk and disorderly on the bus. Dean went to get another 2 packets of chips - the greedy bastard - and then we walked home where I ate a lamb moussaka and watched half of the "Peckham Spring" episode of Only Fools and Horses which I had borrowed from Alfie that morning. Hilarious!
It was not a bad night although we kept being bothered by some old biddies who probably thought they were in the post office. To make them go away we had to shout "Cashier Number One, Please!" at regular intervals. We also got followed outside the pub by a drunken Italian man who wanted to share a taxi with us, even though we pointed out that Alfie's flat was two streets away. He kept talking to Jen and would not go away so we had to tell him to fuck off several times. Alfie went to get a kebab and as we were waiting outside for him the dickhead came up to us again and started to get all aggressive. However we were saved from confrontation by a very kind gentleman and the Italian guy walked away; and so did the peacemaker before we had a chance to thank him. Alfie returned from the kebab shop and invited us all back to his flat. the Italian AGAIN tried to bother us, but in the end we just couldn't be asked and ended up briskly walking away in the direction of Alfie's. As we turned the corner to Alfie's street we ran into the guy who'd helped us out and thanked him for his help. Then we spent the rest of the evening watching old bottom videos.
Woke up at Alfie's; had a nice breakfast of toast, ketchup and a double decker, and then went with Alfie and Jen to Angel as Alfie was due to meet up with his friend Ella. We had a few drinks in the Camden Head and then Alfie went off; me and Jen had a brief wander round the textile / antique shops and the French market, then I headed off home, hoping to have a few hour's kip before going to the Ben Crouch as arranged for Amelia's birthday, but no such luck. My mum sent me out to Tescos as soon as I'd got in, all because she was too busy watching the cup final and couldn't be bothered to go. Eventually got back, had something to eat and then got ready to go out. Arrived at the Ben Crouch to find Alfie already there - He had been drinking the whole way through. Lee was also there, and of course Amelia, who had hired out an entire section of the Ben Crouch. I wished her happy birthday and in return she covered me in little heart-shaped stickers. Alfie got talking to this absolutely GORGEOUS blond called Alex - I was quite jealous. The Jammy bugger. Apparently Lee had got off with her in the past and I noticed he seemed more than a little interested too. However, fate has a way of kicking you in the bollocks. I discovered she hated everything i stand for; Led Zeppelin, Heavy metal in general and football, and loved The Kinks and The League of Gentlemen - two of the most important things in Alfie's life. I left them to it and Jen and Will turned up with my accessories that I had left at Jen's flat a few weeks ago. Last orders was called and everyone else went off to some club to celebrate the remainder of Amelia's birthday, and me and Dean decided to walk to the Intrepid Fox.
Dean stopped off to get some chips from McDonalds and we eventually got to the Fox around midnight - surprised to find Alfie, Jen and Will already there. Apparently they had gone to the club but decided that the queue was too long, and made their way here instead. Apparently the blond went off with Lee. Met some guys in there from a band called Ad Alta (www.myspace.com/adalta) including one guy called Jonny who had the most amazing tattoos - ALL FOUR Led Zeppelin symbols on his right arm and a work in process on his left - the famous monk graphic from the Stairway to Heaven artwork. Showed him my Jimmy Page tattoo:
and had a bit of a chat. His friend Gaz whose birthday it was also had a Zeppelin tattoo - the swan song logo above his elbow. Drunk a lot of guinness and then headed home with Dean as he was feeling tired. By that point I had gone past tiredness. Got the Number 8 back to Bethnal Green and had to endure come college boys being drunk and disorderly on the bus. Dean went to get another 2 packets of chips - the greedy bastard - and then we walked home where I ate a lamb moussaka and watched half of the "Peckham Spring" episode of Only Fools and Horses which I had borrowed from Alfie that morning. Hilarious!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Thank god for Keith Floyd
Why is Daytime TV so shit?
Do the television people think that all we do during the daytime is sit at home looking for lower quotes on our car and home insurance? Sometimes I wish you could answer to those adverts that start by asking you questions. You know, those ones that come on and say "Are you a homeowner looking to borrow between 1,000 and 25,000 pounds?" or "Have you, or any menber of your family had an accident on the road or in the workplace?" For the last time, NO!!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! I do not want to consolidate my existing debts into one affordable monthly payment!! And even the programmes are pants. Bargain Hunt, Cash in the Attic etc - why not show a few repeats of Red Dwarf or something? Or one of those Australian aerobics shows featuring thos nice young ladies in bikinis? Thank god for Keith Floyd, who is top man.
Some of you may have noticed I have spiced up my blog a little with some new features including links to my journalism articles on www.helium.com, Dean's Blog (www.deansaliba.com) and the hilariously titled "Big Wide Man in the Big Wide World", the personal blog of Wayne Saliba (Dean's younger and much larger Brother.) And there is also a link where you can find out exactly how long you have got to live. (www.deathclock.com). I've also added a Top-5 list of my favourite pubs in London, which I will update regularly as I find new ones or if I feel a certain drinking venue deserves taking down a notch due to bad experiences. For example up until last week the Dolphin in Mare Street would have been in there, but it is always packed, guinness is crap and they stop serving draught at midnight. (I plan to do a completely separate section on pubs soon, so look out for that.) I've also added "Country of the Week" section. This is for no reason at all other than it brightens up the page a bit. This will be chosen at random by me every now and again or whenever I feel like it. (not necessarily every week). But if you feel a particular country deserves a go in the spotlight then let me know. (This week, Malta was chosen by Dean and Wayne alike.) So there you go. I must dash now as I have to go jobhunting and be back before 5 because I am playing football tonight.
Do the television people think that all we do during the daytime is sit at home looking for lower quotes on our car and home insurance? Sometimes I wish you could answer to those adverts that start by asking you questions. You know, those ones that come on and say "Are you a homeowner looking to borrow between 1,000 and 25,000 pounds?" or "Have you, or any menber of your family had an accident on the road or in the workplace?" For the last time, NO!!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! I do not want to consolidate my existing debts into one affordable monthly payment!! And even the programmes are pants. Bargain Hunt, Cash in the Attic etc - why not show a few repeats of Red Dwarf or something? Or one of those Australian aerobics shows featuring thos nice young ladies in bikinis? Thank god for Keith Floyd, who is top man.
Some of you may have noticed I have spiced up my blog a little with some new features including links to my journalism articles on www.helium.com, Dean's Blog (www.deansaliba.com) and the hilariously titled "Big Wide Man in the Big Wide World", the personal blog of Wayne Saliba (Dean's younger and much larger Brother.) And there is also a link where you can find out exactly how long you have got to live. (www.deathclock.com). I've also added a Top-5 list of my favourite pubs in London, which I will update regularly as I find new ones or if I feel a certain drinking venue deserves taking down a notch due to bad experiences. For example up until last week the Dolphin in Mare Street would have been in there, but it is always packed, guinness is crap and they stop serving draught at midnight. (I plan to do a completely separate section on pubs soon, so look out for that.) I've also added "Country of the Week" section. This is for no reason at all other than it brightens up the page a bit. This will be chosen at random by me every now and again or whenever I feel like it. (not necessarily every week). But if you feel a particular country deserves a go in the spotlight then let me know. (This week, Malta was chosen by Dean and Wayne alike.) So there you go. I must dash now as I have to go jobhunting and be back before 5 because I am playing football tonight.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Wayne, Wayne, Go Away…!!!
I went out on Saturday with Dean and his brother, Wayne.
I have not seen Wayne now for around two years and it was good to see him. He hasn’t changed a bit; he is still wide as a barn door. Although he has stopped hugging people when drunk and wasting drinks by throwing them at people. We went to Lee Hurst’s Backyard comedy club. We have been there a fair few times over the years, and sometimes the acts that are on are repeated and never change their sets so occasionally you have to sit through a set you’ve heard before. But Saturday was great. We had Lee Hurst himself as the compere, and he was on form as he usually is – (I particularly liked the way he wound up a bunch of northerners in the audience) – then Howard Read as the opener who was quite entertaining, Matt Brown who was okay, and then the headline act was a guy called Steve Day who is Britain’s only deaf comic. I have seen him before and thought he was very good, but this time he was fantastic!! Very funny and his set was virtually all new material which is promising. After the acts finished we did something we have never done before and stayed in the club. (They usually put on a bit of a disco afterwards, but we used to go to the Hayfield down the road rather than hang around). However, after the last couple of times we went to the Hayfield the standard in there has dropped considerably and I don’t think any of us could be bothered to walk for ten minutes to a pub where you have to pay to have a below average night. I pointed out to Wayne that he should go to the bar as he was the nearest, but he pointed out that he was also the furthest away. So I went to the bar and we had another 4-pint jug of Carling and talked about politics. I knew that Dean was quite clued up on politics but I was surprised to hear Wayne discussing some of the finer points of local government policy with him - Sometimes people surprise you. I was left in the middle like a cat watching a tennis match, barely able to get a word in. I really should try to take more of an interest in politics. But it was a good night. Wayne only Irish whipped me into one garage door on the way to the kebab shop, where we got a kebab each (well I had salad and houmous in pitta bread as it was all I could afford) and went home.
Note – I have yet to walk into any kebab shop in London whose menu is spelt 100% correctly. A few times some have come close; but there’s always one small mistake like “CILLI SAUCE” or “CHIKCEN DONNER”, or the best one, spotted in a kebab shop in Kilburn High Road – “HOMOS IN PITTA BREAD” !!! So I take it you get a pitta bread filled with George Michael and Paul O’Grady and the like…!!!
Note – I have yet to walk into any kebab shop in London whose menu is spelt 100% correctly. A few times some have come close; but there’s always one small mistake like “CILLI SAUCE” or “CHIKCEN DONNER”, or the best one, spotted in a kebab shop in Kilburn High Road – “HOMOS IN PITTA BREAD” !!! So I take it you get a pitta bread filled with George Michael and Paul O’Grady and the like…!!!
Monday, May 07, 2007
Bank Holiday Boredom.
I hate bank holidays at ours – nobody ever goes out or does anything. My mum and stepdad use their bank holidays to do all those odd cleaning jobs that you only do on Bank holidays. Such as cleaning round the back of the boiler and hoovering under the carpet. I don’t know about all of you, but I don’t really care how filthy the back of my boiler gets. That’s what the boiler cupboard door is for. And they get really pissed off with me when I don’t join in. Today was very boring and dragged on and on like a Charlton Heston film. I tried to find things to do but just ended up playing International Superstar Soccer – trying to beat Brazil on the hardest level playing as Papua New Guinea with seven men against eleven, and the lowest motivation and keeper level. I got hammered again and again by the computer. But I did manage to score one goal. Ha! You’ll never beat me, Playstation!! I hardly ever play the thing any more since I got bored with Final Fantasy 12. I also read the Red Dwarf scripts book for Series VIII from cover to cover. By about six o clock I was in search of anything I could overdose on. I drank all my beer last night when my cousin Nina and her boyfriend Jimmy came round, so I have none left now. Which is quite shit. Immensely shit. By lack of money I am forced into sobriety. I feel funny. Anyway, going to sign off now and try and sneak some Becks off of the boiler-cleaners.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Bank Holiday Blow-Out
It is Bank Holiday weekend. Which is great, if you’ve got money to do stuff. I haven’t – but I’ve just managed to get by this weekend although I had to borrow some money which I hate doing. But hey, it’s all for me grog. On Friday I went to the Dolphin in Mare Street with Dean. It was a pretty average night, although I am starting to believe Will when he says that Dean attracts trouble. Not to say for one second that he goes looking for trouble but it does seem to find him. This time it was in the form of some right ignorant dickhead (Obviously this is a slightly biased view) who was standing next to us at the back. I don’t actually know what he said that upset Dean but Dean wanted to knock him out. But like I mentioned before it was a pretty average night.
Last night I went to the new intrepid fox. For those of you who had never heard of the old one, it used to be in Wardour Street and was legendary for playing heavy metal. It was THE place to be if you were “Alternative”. I only went there once, with my then-girlfriend and her mates. But it closed down as it was bought by some businessman who wants to turn it into something other than a pub. Fucking killjoy. But the owners were undeterred; they used the money to buy another pub not too far away, and I am pleased to say that they have made it into a better place than the original. For starters it is in a much better location (Around the back of centre point and faces onto a quiet street with a church opposite, rather than sandwiched in between a sleazy sex shop and a Soho crack den.) The interior has retained much of it’s alternative atmosphere, and the music policy of course remains unchanged. It’s a lot bigger, and has two floors just like the old one did. Upstairs at the old Fox was very cramped and you actually had to queue for the bar as it was literally a window. Here we got seats at the bar; Myself, Will, and all four members of Toxicslut: Jenna, Sonia, Jo and Lee. It was a thoroughly enjoyable night. Lee immediately went off to check out the talent (He is like a wind-up doll; you just need to throw him into a pub and he will automatically find girls who are drinking on their own and engage them in conversation. – providing they appear to be under 18 years of age.) Jo had recently broken her wrist but has now had the cast removed. She was still having slight difficulty lifting pint glasses but she managed okay. We had a go at one of our favourite pub pastimes, the game called “In the Style Of.” Where one person picks a song and someone else chooses the style it has to be sung in. The best ones so far are Pure Morning by Placebo in the style of a sea chantey, and Motorhead’s Ace of Spades in the style of Dolly Parton. Hilarious!
The bar staff were all very friendly, apart from one girl who looked at me like I had just urinated on her doorstep. I asked her if she sued them – when she asked who I replied “the charm school.” Lee eventually got talking to an Italian girl and her Scottish friend until him and Sonia left a bit early. The rest of us left at chucking-out time – Jo got a black cab and Will, Jenna and I got the bus back to our respective abodes. Overall it was a very good night. I came home, watched Little Britain and ate a tin of mackerel before going to bed. Woke up this morning with an incredible hangover but dragged myself out of bed and cleaned the bathroom. My nan has just rung up to say that she found a receipt in the bottom of her shopping bag and the particular branch of Somerfields that my mum went to get her shopping was next to an Argos, which was just being erected when she started work around that area back in the early sixties. At least I can sleep tonight knowing that. (- I’m sure she phones sometimes for the sake of it) Never mind. It was her birthday yesterday and she got more cards than me. I have to go round on Tuesday and take her pension and cat chews round – so I’m sure I will hear the full story again.
Last night I went to the new intrepid fox. For those of you who had never heard of the old one, it used to be in Wardour Street and was legendary for playing heavy metal. It was THE place to be if you were “Alternative”. I only went there once, with my then-girlfriend and her mates. But it closed down as it was bought by some businessman who wants to turn it into something other than a pub. Fucking killjoy. But the owners were undeterred; they used the money to buy another pub not too far away, and I am pleased to say that they have made it into a better place than the original. For starters it is in a much better location (Around the back of centre point and faces onto a quiet street with a church opposite, rather than sandwiched in between a sleazy sex shop and a Soho crack den.) The interior has retained much of it’s alternative atmosphere, and the music policy of course remains unchanged. It’s a lot bigger, and has two floors just like the old one did. Upstairs at the old Fox was very cramped and you actually had to queue for the bar as it was literally a window. Here we got seats at the bar; Myself, Will, and all four members of Toxicslut: Jenna, Sonia, Jo and Lee. It was a thoroughly enjoyable night. Lee immediately went off to check out the talent (He is like a wind-up doll; you just need to throw him into a pub and he will automatically find girls who are drinking on their own and engage them in conversation. – providing they appear to be under 18 years of age.) Jo had recently broken her wrist but has now had the cast removed. She was still having slight difficulty lifting pint glasses but she managed okay. We had a go at one of our favourite pub pastimes, the game called “In the Style Of.” Where one person picks a song and someone else chooses the style it has to be sung in. The best ones so far are Pure Morning by Placebo in the style of a sea chantey, and Motorhead’s Ace of Spades in the style of Dolly Parton. Hilarious!
The bar staff were all very friendly, apart from one girl who looked at me like I had just urinated on her doorstep. I asked her if she sued them – when she asked who I replied “the charm school.” Lee eventually got talking to an Italian girl and her Scottish friend until him and Sonia left a bit early. The rest of us left at chucking-out time – Jo got a black cab and Will, Jenna and I got the bus back to our respective abodes. Overall it was a very good night. I came home, watched Little Britain and ate a tin of mackerel before going to bed. Woke up this morning with an incredible hangover but dragged myself out of bed and cleaned the bathroom. My nan has just rung up to say that she found a receipt in the bottom of her shopping bag and the particular branch of Somerfields that my mum went to get her shopping was next to an Argos, which was just being erected when she started work around that area back in the early sixties. At least I can sleep tonight knowing that. (- I’m sure she phones sometimes for the sake of it) Never mind. It was her birthday yesterday and she got more cards than me. I have to go round on Tuesday and take her pension and cat chews round – so I’m sure I will hear the full story again.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Back to Civilisation.
I have returned unscathed from my painting / decorating vacation in Littlehampton. (Well, apart from a slight sunburn on my right arm – my left arm is as white as anything. If I hold them together they look like the polish flag.) My cousins are growing up really fast nowadays; Robert, the oldest of the two, is now taller than me. He’s 14. The painting job went okay, I’m amazed I managed to get through it without once falling off of the ladder or spilling any paint. We went to Arundel football club on Sunday afternoon to watch George (My youngest cousin)’s presentation. His team came second this season just gone and they have now been promoted so the club gave them all medals. Me and my uncle drank five pints each in the clubhouse – fuck me does he drink fast!! I had trouble keeping up with him.
I face a moral dilemma. I found a digital camera on the train. After looking through the photos it would seem that the guy works in a bar down the west end, which I could easily trace via the internet…but I’m not sure. It’s a nice camera. I don’t have a digital camera myself…and it could come in handy for this blog that nobody reads anyway. On the other hand, I could sell it - I’m sure it is worth a few bob. Humble readers, I need your help. Tell me what I should do. But not what is the right thing to do, I already know that. I want to know which option would be more interesting to write about afterwards.
a) Be a good citizen and attempt to return it.
b) Keep it, and finally be able to say that I own something that was made this millennium, or
c) Sell it in search of a fast buck to spend on having a drunken good time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Last night was excellent. I went to the Lion on Church Street for Alfie’s gig. He and his new friend Harry played excellent sets each and Will and Jenna DJ’ed and played some great tunes. (I particularly liked their DJ names –Jenna Cidal and DJ Will Da Beast). I accompanied Alfie with the harmony for his Yardbirds cover of “For Your Love”, and tried my hand at a little stand-up comedy, which proved to be as popular as Danish bacon in a mosque. Everyone who is anyone was there – Spanky and Lee, Alfie’s flatmate Claire and her boyfriend, Lizzie and Dean.
(Pictured)
I face a moral dilemma. I found a digital camera on the train. After looking through the photos it would seem that the guy works in a bar down the west end, which I could easily trace via the internet…but I’m not sure. It’s a nice camera. I don’t have a digital camera myself…and it could come in handy for this blog that nobody reads anyway. On the other hand, I could sell it - I’m sure it is worth a few bob. Humble readers, I need your help. Tell me what I should do. But not what is the right thing to do, I already know that. I want to know which option would be more interesting to write about afterwards.
a) Be a good citizen and attempt to return it.
b) Keep it, and finally be able to say that I own something that was made this millennium, or
c) Sell it in search of a fast buck to spend on having a drunken good time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Last night was excellent. I went to the Lion on Church Street for Alfie’s gig. He and his new friend Harry played excellent sets each and Will and Jenna DJ’ed and played some great tunes. (I particularly liked their DJ names –Jenna Cidal and DJ Will Da Beast). I accompanied Alfie with the harmony for his Yardbirds cover of “For Your Love”, and tried my hand at a little stand-up comedy, which proved to be as popular as Danish bacon in a mosque. Everyone who is anyone was there – Spanky and Lee, Alfie’s flatmate Claire and her boyfriend, Lizzie and Dean.
(Pictured) Alfie’s set was awesome – he played songs from his upcoming album “Demons Aren’t forever” including “Wall of Silence”, “Forgotten How To Sleep” and my personal favourite which I had not previously heard “Reflections in the Water”. I worked on the door charging people three quid each to get in and then drawing on their hands with a green felt tip. I drunk eight pints of Guinness in the Lion, and then we moved on to the Defoe where I had another two. Harry – Alfie’s mate – was being a bit of a prat especially to Jenna. If I see him again and he continues to do it I will have to take him to one side and tell him to cut it out. Other than that, and Alfie having a bit of a tantrum when people accused him of being tight (Which he isn’t, and for which we nearly got thrown out of the pub) – it was a great night. Can’t remember getting home at all but it is now 12 o clock the next day and my head hurts like hell.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
I pushed a boy in the canal
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
This is the second part of my birthday blog. I took my nan’s pension round to her and was given my first new 20 pound note as a birthday present!! I quite like the design. Although I think they should stop putting the queen on them and instead have someone better looking. Jessica Alba would be a good choice. Anyway, my uncle did ring me in the end and ask me to go to the office for a couple of hours. I went from my nans cos it’s not far, (I also found a fiver on the way – wahey!!) did a couple of hour’s work and then walked home along the canal. As I got to just outside the palm tree there were two pikey cunts about 14 years old causing trouble. They were throwing stones at cyclists - (note that there are quite a few cyclists who deserve a stone or two lobbed at them, but doesn’t make it right.) – Then they started on an asian couple who were walking past them minding their own business and when the guy shouted at them they started to racially abuse them. I carried on walking past them and I felt something hit me on the back. I turned round and confronted them and the one who I’m sure threw the stone started mouthing off “Get your hair cut you dickhead” etc. then squared up to me. “And what? And what?” he said, and started shoving me. Now this put me in an awkward position. He was a bit too young to hit – he must have been 14 at the most. But where do you draw the line? There should be some law made on that or something. Anyway as he was squaring up to me I noticed the other one backed off a bit. I stepped back and turned around, making out I was going to walk off, and actually walked a few steps. I heard “Pussyhole” shouted out from behind me. So I waited until he turned his back, then I run up from behind him and pushed him into the canal, to a couple of cheers from people sitting outside the pub. I didn’t hang around to watch his predicament but I was laughing to myself most of the way home. An aussie guy sitting outside the pub with his girlfriend just a few yards away from where this happened said “Nice one, mate” as I walked past. Apparently they had tried to steal his and his girlfriend’s bikes a few minutes before. On reflection I think I feel a minor speck of guilt – I should have thrown the other one in as well. He needed a wash anyway.
This is the second part of my birthday blog. I took my nan’s pension round to her and was given my first new 20 pound note as a birthday present!! I quite like the design. Although I think they should stop putting the queen on them and instead have someone better looking. Jessica Alba would be a good choice. Anyway, my uncle did ring me in the end and ask me to go to the office for a couple of hours. I went from my nans cos it’s not far, (I also found a fiver on the way – wahey!!) did a couple of hour’s work and then walked home along the canal. As I got to just outside the palm tree there were two pikey cunts about 14 years old causing trouble. They were throwing stones at cyclists - (note that there are quite a few cyclists who deserve a stone or two lobbed at them, but doesn’t make it right.) – Then they started on an asian couple who were walking past them minding their own business and when the guy shouted at them they started to racially abuse them. I carried on walking past them and I felt something hit me on the back. I turned round and confronted them and the one who I’m sure threw the stone started mouthing off “Get your hair cut you dickhead” etc. then squared up to me. “And what? And what?” he said, and started shoving me. Now this put me in an awkward position. He was a bit too young to hit – he must have been 14 at the most. But where do you draw the line? There should be some law made on that or something. Anyway as he was squaring up to me I noticed the other one backed off a bit. I stepped back and turned around, making out I was going to walk off, and actually walked a few steps. I heard “Pussyhole” shouted out from behind me. So I waited until he turned his back, then I run up from behind him and pushed him into the canal, to a couple of cheers from people sitting outside the pub. I didn’t hang around to watch his predicament but I was laughing to myself most of the way home. An aussie guy sitting outside the pub with his girlfriend just a few yards away from where this happened said “Nice one, mate” as I walked past. Apparently they had tried to steal his and his girlfriend’s bikes a few minutes before. On reflection I think I feel a minor speck of guilt – I should have thrown the other one in as well. He needed a wash anyway.
Birthday Blues. And Browns. And Reds. And Charcoals.
Congratulations, it is my birthday. I have decided to keep a blog again. I was inspired by reading the blog of my good friend and drinking partner Dean Saliba, internet wrestling journalist and all-round pleasant chap. I did keep a brief blog before, but it sort of fizzled out, much like a morrison’s home brand alka-seltzer. The main reason for this was that I would simply lose interest from day to day. But hopefully this will not happen this time around. I’ve come up with a few ideas to spice it up a bit. And I aint talking about chilli flakes.
1. Raven’s Echo. Every fortnight, I will take a look at some recent events that have been in the news, and provide my own unique outlook on them.
2. Characters. I know that there is a feature on this site that allows you to fill out a personal profile. However, since most of you will be unfamiliar with the people in my life, I will try to provide similar details for them and see if I can link it to a separate site or something. Just a little thing that makes the whole experience less monotonous.
3. Oh, there isn’t a 3. Sorry.
But most of all, everything contained in this blog is 100% true, I aim to speak my mind here and if that means offending a few people in the process, then so be it. I couldn’t care less.
So, where should I start? Oh, yes. Today is my birthday. I am 22. I don’t have any plans (or money) to do anything tonight, but my folks are taking me out for a curry tomorrow night (Because the Chelsea match is on tonight and that seems to be more important than their own son’s birthday. I hope Chelsea get battered.) So, that should be good. I phoned my uncle this morning to ask if he needed my help in the office today. My aunt answered and told me he would phone me back. That was at 9.35. It is now half past 12. I am going to Littlehampton at the weekend to help my other uncle with some painting and decorating, so on the whole it should be a pretty boring weekend, but at least it looks like I will save a few bob.
My mother bought me a book on weight loss for my birthday. Somewhere in there is a hint…but for the life of me I can’t find it. It seems quite good though – it is a Haynes manual. You know, those people that publish manuals for cars? Well they have released a range of books on other subjects such as a babies manual, and even a sex manual. I had a brief read this morning, it does seem like it will be of some use, but more so for the recipe section and exercise tips (I discovered I was not warming up properly when playing football). My mum has also said she will buy me a new pair of trainers, which I desperately need. My best trainers right now are a kind of brown-colour, the kind of colour of a partly decomposed stoat. They were creamy white at one time, but have been scuffed to the point of near-extinction. So a new pair will definitely be welcome. I’ve had my eye on this pair of charcoal and red Golas for ages.
Anyway, I’ll sign off for now, I thought I’d just make it a nice, easy post for the first time round. I’ve noticed I have not sworn once so far in this whole blog post. I'm currently debating whether to include a swear-word just for the sake of it, as swearing is my fourth favourite pastime, and I am the inventor of some genius profanities such as “bullmugs”, etc. If anything exciting should happen tonight, I will post it on tomorrow’s blog. Anyway, I’m off now to take my nan’s pension round to her and be shown more photographs of relatives who died in the 1950’s that even my mum does not recognise. Like the one last week of an aging woman, taken outside an infirmary in the 50’s. (in her 50’s). My nan said: “That’s your auntie Joan, she died shortly after that was taken.” (I always think, have you ever thought it could have been the flash that did it?)
On that bombshell…
1. Raven’s Echo. Every fortnight, I will take a look at some recent events that have been in the news, and provide my own unique outlook on them.
2. Characters. I know that there is a feature on this site that allows you to fill out a personal profile. However, since most of you will be unfamiliar with the people in my life, I will try to provide similar details for them and see if I can link it to a separate site or something. Just a little thing that makes the whole experience less monotonous.
3. Oh, there isn’t a 3. Sorry.
But most of all, everything contained in this blog is 100% true, I aim to speak my mind here and if that means offending a few people in the process, then so be it. I couldn’t care less.
So, where should I start? Oh, yes. Today is my birthday. I am 22. I don’t have any plans (or money) to do anything tonight, but my folks are taking me out for a curry tomorrow night (Because the Chelsea match is on tonight and that seems to be more important than their own son’s birthday. I hope Chelsea get battered.) So, that should be good. I phoned my uncle this morning to ask if he needed my help in the office today. My aunt answered and told me he would phone me back. That was at 9.35. It is now half past 12. I am going to Littlehampton at the weekend to help my other uncle with some painting and decorating, so on the whole it should be a pretty boring weekend, but at least it looks like I will save a few bob.
My mother bought me a book on weight loss for my birthday. Somewhere in there is a hint…but for the life of me I can’t find it. It seems quite good though – it is a Haynes manual. You know, those people that publish manuals for cars? Well they have released a range of books on other subjects such as a babies manual, and even a sex manual. I had a brief read this morning, it does seem like it will be of some use, but more so for the recipe section and exercise tips (I discovered I was not warming up properly when playing football). My mum has also said she will buy me a new pair of trainers, which I desperately need. My best trainers right now are a kind of brown-colour, the kind of colour of a partly decomposed stoat. They were creamy white at one time, but have been scuffed to the point of near-extinction. So a new pair will definitely be welcome. I’ve had my eye on this pair of charcoal and red Golas for ages.
Anyway, I’ll sign off for now, I thought I’d just make it a nice, easy post for the first time round. I’ve noticed I have not sworn once so far in this whole blog post. I'm currently debating whether to include a swear-word just for the sake of it, as swearing is my fourth favourite pastime, and I am the inventor of some genius profanities such as “bullmugs”, etc. If anything exciting should happen tonight, I will post it on tomorrow’s blog. Anyway, I’m off now to take my nan’s pension round to her and be shown more photographs of relatives who died in the 1950’s that even my mum does not recognise. Like the one last week of an aging woman, taken outside an infirmary in the 50’s. (in her 50’s). My nan said: “That’s your auntie Joan, she died shortly after that was taken.” (I always think, have you ever thought it could have been the flash that did it?)
On that bombshell…
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